The Shrekronomicon

It's very nice any funny to see so many regular posters making sock puppet accounts and pretending to be new, but that's a privilege not everyone has and this episode, while I am grateful that the show is not ending, made me wonder if anything that happens ever is either a prank or a double down prank leaving me virtually incapable of trusting others and ambivalent about forming new bonds with other humans. Welcome back. Please tell me if i am being pranked because I really don't actually get it. I don't know how to over-emphasize this without sounding sarcastic.

This show has been the only constant thing in my life after going through a terrible thing where me and my best friend had an irreparable falling out, a move to a new state, a job loss/change, and lots of brain stuff. Hollywood Handbook is the only thing that was there before and through it all. It can't end too. If Sean isn't funny, then literally nobody is funny. Sorry everyone, but thats the bar I measure funnyness against. I have every episode of HH and RSS saved for podcast historians if this is really "it". Don't end the podcast. I'm sorry for not being able to get other people into it, I just don't know very many people.

Man, am I glad you didn't say it was a mental health ward for acute stress induced psychosis, because i spent a week in one for that and they suuuuuuuuck, I thought everything was talking about me, even reruns of cartoons, thought a close friend was going to attack me for no reason. That shit was b-a-n-a-n-a-s. My feet ARE sore though. Did the shaving procedure go well? (Okay 3 posts on one page, That's about as brave as I'm going to get. One for each decade of my life.)

Don't get me started on people named Alison and Jessica. No, I mean really, ain't nobody got time for the stories I've got that give those names particular significance to me.

B-,,,,broseph....foolbus....new jobs....Alison Rich...again....neurolinguistic programming...something is happening to my birthday brain...i just got home from work...but im having a vietnam-style flashback of trying to be accepted and failing....something about Joe McGurl's forum rules...i...i'm losing the image. I think I have somehow bent time and space by ....something....I am...what am...I...?

Ive got a maxed out credit card emergency to handle first, but mark my words beefy, you shall one day have that Leatherman if I have anything to say about it. Slide into those twitter DMs and be patient, My money situation is really pretty bad.

I'm still not funny, but the intro segment coerced me into making a post. I'm doing kinda better because I finally got hired for a job with the help of Beeface's good vibes and possibly magic gold star stickers. Night shift inventory guy at a hardware store, so no customers to interrupt my pod listening. I did a whole twitter day of #trypod last week for all my favoritest casts and gave HH the highest recommendation I could fit into 140 characters. In other news, I turn 30 next Tuesday and if anyone wanted to get me a present, having another Mike Hanford episode would be pretty amazing. Or even a..."John Lennon" episode...?

I never made it to the funny zone last week. I think I can't get there anymore or was going somewhere else the whole time. The laughing part of my brain seems to be broken or have atrophied altogether because on an intellectual level I know this episode was particularly good, and I can still remember Hollywood Handbook being basically THE only thing that made me literally "LOL", like IRL, but after a series of events in my life this past year I think somethings bad wrong. This week I'm posting because I'm becoming concerned that I may not be as alive as my vital signs are tricking all the doctors into believing. I probably shouldn't post here anymore until something changes because even tho I kinda see you all as distant friends I will just bring the mood down. Bye

just posting to say im alive. if i get in the funny zone i will try again with a better one.

I clppd my bonsai tree into the shape of infinite fractal smaller bonsai trees and opened up a vortex in space time into which I fell and continue to fall, in all directions at once which is exactly as painful as you would imagine. I live in the electricity now and have to be on constant lookout for the DanaGorgon. This occurred months ago, so this would have been really helpful back in like maybe June of '16 but at least now I know what I did to deserve this fate.

Sheeeeeeit, CMB, you sounding like CLPPNG all da sudden.

This movie stars Gary Busey. I know this because on the cover of the DVD I found in a Half-Price-Books store, his is the only name listed on the front cover, top and center aligned. You might be fooled into thinking he has only a brief cameo since he does not factor into the plot in any way and is in the movie for only one scene lasting about 3 minutes, but well...have a look for yourself. https://youtu.be/F73_nmanbVM?list=PLe9SLHT_bbxTTx95fg2O8L8cNuKBx4rzc

If its spaghetti you want, I actually make my own and give it away to folks for free. Be warned though, before you ask me for any, it has an almost universal side effect profile of causing emotional distress and agitation in varying degrees of severity that can go on, in some cases, indefinitely.

#FinnegansWake

Except when the Third Law conflicts with either Law One or Law Two.