Pugfugly Ate He Fore

There's no "I" in team, but there's definitely one in Sammy Davis Jr.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe The Macho Man Randy Savage just had a really bad memory, and every time he said "Ohhhh yeah," he was actually remembering something really important that he forgot to do?

When you're Jonesin' for a Bonesin', just reach for a box of Mother Jone's Dog Bones. Mother Jones; the only dog biscuits shaped like penises.

Oscar Wilde told Julia Child "I like my salsa chunky and mild."

Sure, you've heard of podcasts, but have you ever tried codpasts? It's an old fish. It stinks.

At the end of the day, a candle is just a crayon you cremate.

An entire fleet of Fleet enemas couldn't dislodge the log-jam i've got in my jog-clam.

Chess is just Checkers with mutant powers.

Chris Pratt once was fat but now he's very lean. Some people sold pics of his flabby man-tits and that was very mean.

Martin Short, he built a fort, too small for Terry Long. Terry was scary and Martin was fartin', and now you've sung my song

May I Dingle my Dangle in your can of Jingle Jangle?

Mr. Fantastic, his penis elastic. Eel O'Brien, can't fault him for tryin'.

Of course Kirstie Alley is a stage name. She chose it because you can comfortably park a mid-sized sedan in her.

I totally read this in Scott's voice, bravo.

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You can't judge a book by it's cover, but you SHOULD judge your girlfriend's mother. Step-daddy step-likey.

Second poop joke this week...

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Ground-Control to Major Tom; your wife's a whore, and so's your mom.

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