MondoMudbutt

If I was a medium, I would be a really good one. I’m an incredibly good liar and I love thinking about dead bodies and their former lives.

I just saw a couple rugrats playing in the sewers with this clown with a red balloon. They looked like they were all having so much fun!

I had a dream that Ron Jeremy’s germy penis ruled the world. Truly life-changing stuff.

When I was born, my mother told me she doesn’t suck cock, but she gargles pussy.

If I was a pickle, I would savor every single moment of being tenderly placed into someone’s wettened mouth.

Rain drop. Drop top. Outdated meme talk, suckin’ on my mom’s cock.

For my whole life, I hated my mother. Thus when she repeatedly told me that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I sliced her up like sandwich meat.

The flesh was removed delicately by Norman. I watched in anticipation to see if he would, in fact, taste the fecal matter scattered across the arm.

Robert Pattinson once ate this while on the set of Twilight: Eclipse. You do not want to miss Perez Hilton’s inside scoop.

I was ticklish once. And then I shit myself at the tender age of 31

Mick Jagger’s jagged and haggard black slacks ravaged the crappy snack bag’s wack butt juices for days on end.

Four new contestants try to craft blades from piles of mayonnaise. Welcome back! I’m your host, Brock Carpeltin.

“Put ‘em up, put ‘em up,” said the robber to the family hastily putting up Christmas lights. “And then take them down immediately and give them to me, PRONTO!”

Pepperoni grease and peppered bologna geese fly out of the John Cleese’s neice’s carcass with glee.

You can say that again. Amirite?

My father was a ruthless man. There wasn’t one time that he wiped sufficiently. Not. One. Time.

The hard drive should have never been inserted into my grandmother. She’s been backed up for ages. We’ll be going in there ourselves, sir.

Pump up the jams babydoll. This sausage ain’t gonna dance by itself.

We’ve eliminated the threat, Mr. President. You can rest easy knowing those hamsters from the Kia Soul commercials are behind bars.

I didn’t mean to upset you. I was convinced father told you our new family would be incestuous.

It felt so wrong. She wasn’t so nice. She substituted maggots. For the buttered rice.

Hey I’m Marty McFly. Come on down to Burger King and try our new Fecal French Fry Fungus sauce, perfect for any delicious Subway footlong!

Tunnel inside and funnel the goods. I found my dead cat, hanging in the woods. Dinnertime!

My ingrown toenails are out of control. My wife left me. My family disowned me. My dog passed away. But at least I still have my ingrown toenails.

Vin Diesel just called me. He said we could finally be together. And that he would continue to use Nitrous when having sex with me.