Justa Punn

#allright allright

I do say chap, pip pip, and all that

Scott - one more for McConaughey, RE: my perfume commercial. If you can't get him, Nick Offerman is my next choice. Thanks!

Emanuel Lewis jokes never get old. Much like the real Emanuel Lewis. He may be consuming Gelfling essence on a regular basis.

Full disclosure, I did previously try to sell this quote to the band Kansas but they took a hard pass.

May, you never have to ask permission. Get over here, you.

I used to call it 'chocolate clam chowder' but I ordered that in the wrong restaurant once and they actually brought it to me.

If this comes across as creepy at first glance, I can only hope for cute and endearing on the second.

I misheard the name of the band. I thought Van Halen was a couple guys trying to flag down a van.

Welcome to Poetry Bang Bang I'm your host F. Scott Aukerman

Did this sound misleading question mark sorry if it did period

Lyrics from the hit song "Texturous (and other made up nonsense)" by Winston DuPree and The Velveteen Heartbeats

Regional jokes are universally funny

Meh, I had Gary do it for me.

I'm totally joking. That's not my blood type.

Did you know Emanuel Lewis was collecting social security during the run of that show? He may be a Highlander.

My mistake was replacing Andrew Jackson with Samuel L. Jackson

Breaking News: Teashade Randy has left Portland metal band “Organica” to focus on his side project “Kale Suspender Mustache Wax”. Also in the news, hack joke writer takes job at breaking news agency. Story at 11.

What were they thinking?

I know you're all tired of dry cleaning jokes on this forum but just one more

Just a guy from a small town in the San Fernando Valley who wanted a better life. So he packed up and headed west to west Los Angeles in pursuit of his showbiz dreams.

Uh, I'm good with the Bibimbap stone pots I already have thanks.

Any questions?

My relatively inexperienced heart would I fear not recover if I was cast aside as I absolutely expect to be. I guess what I mean to say is: I'm just a boy, sitting in front of a computer screen asking a girl to have coffee.

mild joke