Champion quilter Quilt Chamberlain slept with over 20,000 women who were all kept extremely cozy.

[Champion quilter Quilt Chamberlain slept with over 20,000 women who were all kept extremely cozy.]

Champion quilter Quilt Chamberlain slept with over 20,000 women who were all kept extremely cozy.

[Improv is for people who are too lazy to write material and too lazy to spell “improvisational”.]

Improv is for people who are too lazy to write material and too lazy to spell “improvisational”.

[This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Micturition Syncope, a new sketch comedy show by Pee and Keel.]

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Micturition Syncope, a new sketch comedy show by Pee and Keel.

[Hot dogs are made from lips and assholes and assholes are made from fists and apples.]

Hot dogs are made from lips and assholes and assholes are made from fists and apples.

[Dance like everyone's watching and stuffing dollar bills into your G string.]

Dance like everyone's watching and stuffing dollar bills into your G string.

[In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. But surely he'll still find, That he bumps into everything.]

In the land of the blind,

the one-eyed man is king.

But surely he'll still find,

That he bumps into everything.

[There's no better feeling than truckin' in to Coxsackie by way of Mianus with a full load of tainted meat.]

There's no better feeling than truckin' in to Coxsackie by way of Mianus with a full load of tainted meat.

[There's no time like the present! ...except for now ...and now ...and now ...and now ...and now ...and now...]

There's no time like the present! ...except for now ...and now ...and now ...and now ...and now ...and now...

[My favorite album is Dalai Lama: Live at BuddhaCon.]

My favorite album is Dalai Lama: Live at BuddhaCon.

[When Phil Collins has congested sinuses, he takes Su Su Sudafed.]

When Phil Collins has congested sinuses, he takes Su Su Sudafed.

[This summer, make sure to practice safe BBQing by frequenting my new restaurant "Ribs For Your Pleasure".]

This summer, make sure to practice safe BBQing by frequenting my new restaurant "Ribs For Your Pleasure".

[I can scat better than just about anybody and my jazz vocal improvisations are pretty good too.]

I can scat better than just about anybody and my jazz vocal improvisations are pretty good too.

 

Shot Glockerman

[Never Mind The Bullocks, Here's Miss Congeniality]

Stalk Aquaman