The_Triple_Lindy

Because of course they did. I should've guessed.

That's funny, because Resident Evil VII is subtitled "Biohazard" ... wonder if it's called "Biohazard VII: Biohazard" in Japan.

One of the first to spring to mind.

Cynthia Rothrock Ziyi Zhang Michelle Rodriguez Grace Jones Bridgette Nielson

Can I just say that I was shocked (SHOCKED) when Paul played the clip of Milla talking about filming this movie in Shanghai. I would've bet 90% of my money on this flick being filmed entirely in Kurt Wimmer's basement CGI greenscreen studio. As someone in the audience pointed out, Milla has no nose through most of the movie because the focus and lighting were so soft. My guess when I noticed this was that it was a lame attempt to hide the crappy CGI in fuzzy textures. Ugh ... no wonder I remember nothing about this from when I saw in theaters. This movie is all style and zero substance. I started the movie twice this week and tuned out after 45 minutes both times. Every scene feels like it should be the climax of another movie (pause for "I'll have what she's having jokes ... okay), so at least 3 times I looked up, I thought, "Oh, it's just about over" but it wasn't. Vi switches allegiances and charges into battle every 10 minutes just to keep the plot moving forward. She fights a platoon of baddies whenever she walks through a door, and there's never a moment where she doesn't have the situation completely in hand. They suddenly make William Fichtner a love interest because why the fuck not. The boy is basically furniture. I don't feel like Milla is a bad actress, but her dialogue was shit and she did nothing to help. Awful. Just awful. However, since the gang didn't really talk about the tech that lets Vi ride bikes on walls, I'll offer up this fantastic piece of IMDB trivia:

I really dig this flick. I agree that the movie goes on just a bit longer than it should, but most musicals feel that way to me. But at some point, it just starts to feel like an extended fantasy scene from That 70's Show. Still, I laughed a lot and the music was decent. Random notes: 1. Were we really still giving Steven Weber a shot in 2005? I thought we'd cashed in by now ... 2. It dawned on me while watching this that I've never disliked Kristen Bell in anything I've seen her in. (Full disclosure: I've never seen Veronica Mars, but The Good Place is forking awesome. But does anyone remember her crazy, over-the-top character in Deadwood? Where she's so crazy that the other characters are all like, "I know she's only been around for a couple of days, but it's clear that she's nuts ... we should just go ahead and kill her, right?") Anyway, I thought she was great in this. 3. I want a gif of Ana Gasteyer covered in blood ripping out Steven Weber's heart. Somebody please make it for me. 4. Alan Cumming is EVERYWHERE! 5. I LOVE when the electric chair is played for laughs, like in Bugs Bunny or The Green Mile. 6. The whole town would've gotten so high when Jimmy torched those weed plants.

I recognize him from Law & Order (? ... or some-such legal procedural). Yes! I was shown a ton of them in middle school because our guidance counselor was kinda crazy and close to retirement and over the whole "working hard" thing. The one that springs to mind is called "Cracked Up": https://archive.org/...pClosedCaptions I remember this specifically because he prefaced his screening of this movie with a diatribe about how people do drugs like these because they make you feel really good.

I remember seeing Ultraviolet and the Aeon Flux movie within a few days of each other. I hated Aeon Flux, but I have no memory of Ultraviolet. Even after reading the Wikipedia synopsis, nothing rings a bell. That can't be a good sign, can it? I've since rewatched Aeon Flux and enjoyed it a little more than I remembered (it would be 100% perfect for HDTGM). I dread/look forward to rewatching this.

"Commercials disguised as films" ... the last couple of times I've been, they've had a spot where these two giggly teenage douchebags come on all candid-like and say "We made a film and won a contest -- here it is" and it was a mostly-CGI bit about people at the concession stand buying popcorn. I remember somebody booing the first time I saw it.

How I wish I lived in a world where literally everything isn't a commercial. Let us bask, for a moment, in your fellow movie patrons' innocence. I'd like to visit that Osaka place ... if only it were real ... But I have only fleeting memories of a time when commercials were frontloaded onto any movie, in any venue or format ... even most of my old VHS tapes have ads on them. In fact, Cracked did a video recently that pins the advent of all of that on the Top Gun VHS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YLlt1JWpRA

Here's a link: http://123hulu.com/watch/ZnGE3qvb-freejack.html This is a horribly buggy site, and basically the whole screen becomes a banner ad, but the movie is there.

Oh, hi, HDTGM boards ... Happy Halloween! [/url]

For "David"/Jason's reference, about the original Shatner mask:

Is anyone else kinda taken out of it when cyborgs are shown to take deep breaths?

Could it be that the nanobugs rebuilt him as a cyborg because, as dickhoff suggested, everyone in the future has already been replaced by sexbots, and therefore rebuilt Jason out of metal because the machine was calibrated to rebuild sexbots?

I don't think anyone mentioned that all the spacecraft in the movie are named after literary monsters. The main ship they're on is called "The Grendel," which is the monster from Beowulf. Incidently, Beowulf kills Grendel by ripping her arms off, which kinda parallels the way the ship is "dismembered" in the way they blow it apart piece by piece: The ship they hail for rescue toward the end is called "The Tiamat," which was a Sumerian goddess that was depicted often as a multiheaded dragon:

Not to mention they're doing surgery with machetes and iron hooks: Also, I agree about how sex bots would totally exist in such a horn-dog future. I mean, IRL sexbots are only like two years away ... in 400 years, they will have replaced us entirely.

Are you counting the two Holodeck versions of the guys playing the game?

I'll not have lip from anyone who goes about sniffing quasars, thank you.

I use all five senses when perusing baked goods. Maybe that's why my cookie identification game is on-fucking-point.

Please don't think I'm impugning the legitimacy of your past trauma. I'm on record as saying I agree that raisins are not the kind of food one person should just spring on another. But couldn't you smell the difference? EDIT TO SELF: or were they packaged? DOUBLE EDIT TO SELF: Of course cookies for sale at a store were packaged. Damn it, Lindy ... I'm full of controversy today, so I'll just say it: I hate butterscotch.

Sorry if this comes across as confrontational, but what kind of person can't visually discern between chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies? I've never, ever bit into one while expecting the other. Your misery seems, to me, entirely self-inflicted. Just like a mother duck.

Raisins in my cereal? Raisins in my cookies? I'm good with that. Raisins in my coleslaw? Blech. Much like Cameron H's opinion on high schools, I'm a total segregationist when it comes to raisins.