The_Triple_Lindy

My absolutely favorite part of that exchange is when the main guy announces that the winner was decided "after heated debate." I can't even imagine what that argument must've been like. I've accompanied lots of dancers, pretty much all of them contemporary dancers, and I love them all, but even at they're most "heated" they still all talk like really respectful yoga instructors disagreeing over what kind of weed they just smoked. They communicate unhappiness, and all emotions, through emphatic abstractions, like "It should be more purple rainbow and less sticky-sticky!" Whereas the ballet instructor probably just called her a fucking moron and stormed off. If somehow they did have both classical and contemporary instructors on the faculty, I can't imagine they ever agree about much of anything. Though I'm not classically trained, I've had lots of opportunity to play with classical musicians, and they just seem to have a completely different relationship to music than I do, which is much more "drop the shoulders," if you get me. To them, it seems less about "emotional expression" and more about "fucking nailing it!" Playing those crazy-difficult lines, written 150 years ago by madmen who will never be topped. It's satisfying in a deeply competitive-with-yourself kinda way, where satisfaction comes from conquering your own body and its own stupid limitations. It's intimidating as hell, and I respect it, but those people never drop the shoulders.

Hearing that the director and production team were basing this movie off of a Star Wars novelization makes a lot of sense and explains a lot of its crappiness. So much of what makes this movie exhausting to watch comes down to basic editing. As a visual medium, movies need things like establishing shots and travel montages to move the audience from place to place, whereas novels inherently don't. Take, for example, the trial scene, wherein we are standing before the Right Honorable Krang hearing Stella and Akton's hard labor sentence, and then smash-cut to Stella, in the mine, some indeterminate amount of time later, lugging space orbs around on a stretcher with the other slaves. There was no "guards, take her away" moment, no shot of her arriving at the mine, no Shawshank "fresh fish" scene, no nothing. A good movie would show Stella arriving at the prison with other prisoners, an establishing shot of the prison, and then the mine, and then show her working for some length of time before deciding to bust out, but Starcrash just has none of that. It was the same thing with the snow planet, when Stella and Elle get back to the ship to learn that Thor had betrayed them -- the movie doesn't even so much as show the damn ship taking off, leaving them abandoned on the planet. Thor walks off screen, and then smash-cut to Stella laying down in the snow to die ... for all the audience knows, the ship is still right there out of frame. But novels can get away with that kind of thing because it doesn't need to take the time to present the spectacle of the moment. Smash cuts aren't a problem with novels because you can reveal the shift in time along with all the other details that set the scene. In fact, I think this whole movie might work better as a novel: "Stella Star," bellowed Judge Krang,"you are hereby sentenced to a lifetime of hard labor in the galactic acid mines." And with that, court was adjourned. *** Chapter 5 Stella's back and shoulders ached as she and the other slaves lifted the acid orb upon the stretcher and joined the queue for the hole full of dry ice. In this cheaply constructed soundstage that was her prison, time seems to slow to crawl. Had she really been wearing this same bikini every day for the last three months?

Thanks for letting us know! Now we'll all have the Hopeline on speed-dial, ready to read it over the phone

Okay, I got curious so I looked it up. It was the Freejack episode that I was thinking of: We had this exchange, and then a caller during "Explanation Hopeline" hypothesized that while Anthony Hopkins' brain was dying, his Jacob's Ladder death dream was about how he was Odin, etc. This may not have been the one that you were referring to. Meanwhile, I had forgotten what a fucked up movie Freejack was.

It was something something "a movie that shared a universe with Thor." Don't remember which movie, but I remember being a part of an exchange jumping off from that post and feeling bad that you got sniped. And yeah, it blows to get your stuff plagiarized, and I generally agree with everyone who has said so, but partially, I'm of the mind that everybody here knows that tayloranne made that "bifrost bridge joke" (or whatever it was) first, just like everyone here knows that Vegas820 made the comment about Disneyland ride tickets, like, minutes after the boards were even open for Disclosure, and so on. We all know what's up. The callers can't vouch for each other the way the board-posters can. It's easy for me to be glib since it hasn't happened to me, I guess. But while I probably first started coming to the boards out of a desire to get read on the minisode, I'm now just as excited to hear which of y'all's posts get read, because we've been talking about this shit for a week and I've read through the entire board a half-dozen times by the time Friday rolls around. So just know, homies, that if you get poached ...

Don't forget ... um, Unforgettable. My favorite line not to get mentioned was when Sutherland says at the end, "I was so focused on finding the right woman for the job, when I should've been looking for the right person," which is totally a line meant to set up Michael Douglas getting the job, but then he gives it to another woman. If I were Rosemary Forsythe, I'd be fucking offended by the implication of that statement. He doesn't think Stephanie Kaplan is attractive enough to warrant thoughts about "women," just "people?" Go right on and do one, Donald Sutherland, you stupid national treasure, you.

Omission: Dude, totally fuck a hotel room door electric key card reader, for real. I've stayed at a bunch of hotels lately, and the fact that it takes 20 swipes before the door will open is probably the most realistic tech thing in this movie.

That's funny ... I recognized that they were in a new house and thought it odd that Whitney Cummings just casually came by for breakfast since she didn't live in the same town. I suppose the implication is, indeed, they moved to SF. Which is fine ... if the brewery is off the ground, he doesn't need to be on site, but what is it with this movie and telecommuting? This film seems to either hate or misunderstand just about everything tech-related.

Because cops love admitting their mistakes I think most prosecutors worth their salt could cast doubt across David's testimony. Oh, this guy who loves the defendant and hates the deceased, who was out cold for most of the time and who could barely spell his name after the fact, said it didn't go down like it totally looks like it went down? One well-prepped brain trauma expert testimony during the cross-examination phase of the trial would mop that right up.

How many times during an average hen session of probing your exhusband's new girl for sensitive info over top shelf margaritas at Chili's do you think Tessa asks to talk to the manager?

Any cop in 2017 that hasn't heard of identity theft needs to turn in their badge and gun. Especially the gun. But, I'm pretty sure the cops can show David the evidence against Julia. If they thought showing him might convince him to give up some crucial info on her, they'd do it.

Both of these points, plus the "real detective work only happens on printed paper" attitude, make me think this movie was written by boomers who watch too much Dateline.

Despite being a well-documented piece of shit, can we have a moment of empathy for David's likely-diminished quality of life after sustaining a headshot from a fire poker and being unconscious for several minutes? The long-term consequences of a blow to the head followed by prolonged unconsciousness are well documented, and I personally know a handful of people who have received head injuries and have gone on to suffer seizures, narcolepsy, memory damage, and sight or hearing loss. Human beings' soft, squishy bodies don't usually just bounce back from stuff like that. And spare a thought for Julia, who'll likely have to be David's caretaker. David probably won't be allowed to drive, which means Julia will have to haul him back and forth from the brewery and regular CT scans.

Any court in the country would've convicted Julia in a heartbeat. And I laughed out loud when the cops holding Julia said that the evidence against her was all circumstantial. Forget the sexting and panties in the car ... her abusive ex lying dead on her kitchen floor, stabbed by a knife that had Julia's prints all over it? That's "circumstantial?" And then to have the cops walk in to see another person dead by stabbing while Julia's holding the knife? Sorry, Julia ... see you at the parole hearing in 10 years.

Putting two cents in on this week's bicameral debate, seemingly intended to polarize the boards and divide us ideologically: I didn't read Tessa's final act as either a noble sacrifice or a response to her disfigured visage. It was the compulsive action of someone who had a manic crash and acted tragically. She looks at herself in the mirror and says "Why do you always ruin everything?" This seems like a line meant to reflect everything that her mother has told her all her life and that she had internalized over time which, after years of festering as maladaptive behaviors, manifested in the psycho behavior we see in the movie and culminated in one final psychological break and a snap decision to assess her own worthlessness and end her own life. In that regard, she seems like any number of deeply depressed individuals whose outward perfection masks a deep inner pain that she is unable to acknowledge and deal with, in which case, yeah, I might agree with Paul that she's misunderstood. On the other hand, the "defeated villain hurls herself to her death" is just the kind of cheap Hollywood trope tripe that this movie seems to be peddling, so ...

Good point. One of the first things I do on Facebook when I get a friend request, even from someone I might know, is look at the number of friends they have. Because guess what an account with one friend means in the world of identity theft and bots? It means LIAR. It would make sense, seeing as being pretty is the ultimate objective in Tessa's mind. By the time they have the margaritas, Tessa has already stolen Julia's phone and started reaching out to Mike, so it seems more like a gratuitous complement for the sake of disarming Julia in order to get that sweet, sweet personal info. "You're so pretty and talented ... and did I say pretty? Want to tell me about your beauty regimen, including all your morning activity and the route of your morning jog?"

It totally should've happened. Although, I see Lovey's presence at the end of the movie as an interesting franchise opportunity. I'd love to see a sequel where Lovey is now the one terrorizing Julia, much to everyone else's obliviousness. And maybe the sequel could feature Tessa's aunt hanging around in the background the whole movie, and when Lovey is killed, the aunt could show up at the end, and each sequel goes on that way, with the cousin and the half-sister from dad's second marriage, and so on. Just like the Waterfall Family hippies from Futurama [edit to acknowledge that an audience member said this].

The absolute most irresponsible part of this movie is that it perpetuates the dangerous myth that getting gut-stabbed will kill a person instantly. Tessa just falls on the knife and is dead, when in reality, she could've had enough time to lay there and decide she wanted to Inigo Montoya herself up to slay them all. In fact, the movie would've totally redeemed itself if, instead of Lovey at the door at the end, it had been Tessa bursting through the plate glass door with the knife in her hand. Or better yet, dragging them underwater, Jason-style.

"When they name the character after you, you automatically get [the part]." -- Tall John Also known as the Tony Danza Method of Hollywood Success

With all the talk about make up, I think they understate what a badass Vanessa Kirby is. They should've called this movie Fast and Fury Road.

Solid theories. I agree that it sounded like Ryan Reynolds at times. And I also agree that Gina Carano is awesome. My guess is that it will be Hobbs' daughter's mama, filling in the "?" in her family tree. Give me Letitia Wright or Taraji P. I'd even take Vivica Fox or Pam Grier.

Might've been Quebec ... it definitely had the cheese curds. I was on the road with a group, of which one of the members is from Montreal, and her husband, who's from Florida, was getting a real kick out of describing it every chance he got until we finally had to get some. I also got to know Tim Horton's pretty well, as well as that falafel place that we always found in the highway rest centers. You Canadians really know how to road trip. I don't ever have baguette in the house. But I'd totally dip that shit ... maybe a vinaigrette, or Tsao's sauce.

Where I live, there are a TON of late night greasy-spoon places, and those that serve a mushroom swiss burger with fries are all tied for my favorite late-night takeout drunk food. At home, I think my favorite drunk-snack is to just roll up pieces of bread and dip them in random condiments. I try hard not to judge Canadian food on sight, or even on description. I tried poutine for the first time two years ago because my friends were raving about it and I was in Ontario. It's fine but it doesn't read well. The smell won me over enough to try it, I think. Do you think balls of crumpled up wheat bread dipped in honey mustard or sriracha would play up there? If so, I've got a proposition for you ... Thanks Winning the nothing-prize for the most contentious episode ever with a throw-away comment like that might make one hesitant to celebrate a meaningless victory, but ... Although, assist goes to gigitastic, since it was a reply to their post, so ... I like basketball, I love Looney Tunes, and I'm okay with Mike, and I was never compelled to see it.

Actually, yes ... Together Tube and My Circle would work fine for our purposes, provided the movie is available for free or everyone has access to the source. The way it works is very similar to rabbit -- create a room, send out a link, invite others to join, you can chat with each other. The difference is that instead of streaming one room members content, you copy/paste a link into the window and it just plays that linked video for everyone in the room. I tried it with my wife using an Amazon Prime video and it worked, but I have no way of knowing if it would work for someone who doesn't also have Prime. I assume the same would be true with HBO, Hulu, etc ... that we'd all have to be members to the site in order to watch a video from it. Don't know if it's true ... I've got time this weekend to try it out with someone, if you want. I didn't try Synaptop because it requires an account.

Sorry, I should've clarified that this last comment didn't have anything to do with what you wrote. It was snark directed toward a repeated sentiment elsewhere throughout the boards.