The_Triple_Lindy

Somehow, "Amazon" is the perfect name of a place to buy Greek mythology stuff. Also, how dare you besmirch Harryhausen so casually! My childhood demands satisfaction!

During the bear fight scene, I laughed out loud because the guy in the bear suit seemed so Monty Python to me, and then I remembered, "Oh yeah, Scott of the Sahara": Also, when somebody (Jason, maybe?) said that there were no robots in Ancient Greek times, I was like, uh, hello? Also also, HEY EVERYBODY! I haven't been around much this year so far, but I've missed the boards ... hope you've all been well

Did anyone catch that the baby's name is "Rowen" whereas the movie's main character's name is "Rowena?" I don't think anyone on the episode pointed that out. Sure would hate to think that these folks bought tickets to the podcast taping, watched the movie beforehand, went into labor before they could go to the show, and subconsciously named her child after this horrible movie.

At some point while they were concocting their plan, Miles suggests that Ro get online and "practice flirting" over the computer before going after Hill, so it seems that Miles set her up to look for some rando to cyber with, and used that as an opportunity to get her to dirty talk to him. Considering this, combined with his "voice acquisition" software, he was probably in his jack shack listening to Ro's voice enunciate all the dirty talk, having himself a good ol time. By the by, if I were starting my message board account today, "Jack Shack" would be my screen name. Maybe "Jack Shaq." 2007 was prior to the ubiquity of smart phones, and that, to me, is when the phone addiction really took off. Prior to that, most people I knew treated their phones much more causally. Yes, they took their phones out with them, but they'd be much more likely to leave a Nokia flip phone at the table while they went to the bathroom because they wouldn't have been able to look at YouTube while on the john like they can now.

I don't know ... few things my life bring me as much satisfaction as a really great view. I've never been to NYC, but I think I'd demand that you take me to some spot where I could get a good view of the city at least once. Doesn't have to have a gift shop. This is all EXACTLY my point. First of all, I simply don't really get why Pornstacheless is angry or what he resents ... just, that he was almost killed? Okay fair enough, but there is that bullshit exchange where he gets all mad and jealous at the D"TR"J's awesome new life when his own life doesn't really seem all that bad. He grimaces when marriage is mentioned, so I guess he just really wants to settle down and have kids? And if so ... get out there, meet some women, get out of the stuffy office full of mobsters and international assassins and hit a club. Or fucking download Tinder and swipe at work or while you're the ferry. My point is, as awful as it must be to have a brush with death, what did he lose, what doesn't he have, that he wants so much? And to your point, gigi, up until he sees Will with the tablet after the snatch-and-grab, his plan seems to be just to set Will up to take the fall for the hacking that turned the fire system off and allowed the building to burn down. Which is, what ... a couple of years in prison? Ruins his life? It's harsh but it's not murder. So I imagine the mindset up until then was "Yeah, fuck that guy because he got my neck all scarred up and now no one will love me so I'm going to help people commit crimes and blame him for it," or whatever. More importantly, why would you take the chance that D"TR"J wouldn't take the gun from you and beat you to death with it? I would have sincere doubts that a few rounds from a 9mm could take that man down.

ICE COLD!!!! alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright (sorry ... my OCD wouldn't let me go without finishing that reference) I saw this years ago and barely remember anything about it. This will be a good one to re-visit because I love OutKast and love the revisionist Prohibition-Era style of the movie, so I'd really like to know why this one didn't hang with me.

I have two main gripes that haven't already been covered: 1. So I get that Pornstache Schrieber hates D"TR"J, but I don't quite get why. On the ferry, he complains that after the botched hostage rescue, D"TR"J got to get a brand new life with a wife and child and good job, and Pornstache seems bent out of shape about that, but he is actually doing pretty okay himself. He has a pretty cushy security gig in Hong Kong working for one of the richest guys in the world. Plus, it's not everyday that you get recruited by the Euro-Triads or whoever they are. He's not exactly still living the same ol' life. And he decides superquick to just kill D"TR"J after he finds that the iMacGuffin wasn't in the bag that the thief stole. It easy to see that he had enough hatred to set up a friend as a terrorist ... I mean, one might compare that to a really, really, really long-term practical joke. But to just decide "Guess I gotta murder my friend and his family" is over-the-top. 2. So, it is said during the news-exposition that the Pearl will be the #1 tourist attraction in the world. First of all, why? Second of all, do they mean like, bigger than Disney World, bigger than the Great Wall, all of that? That’s a tiny room on top of skyscraper … can you imagine trying to use the elevator or waiting in line in the stairwell to stand in the fake sky over Hong Kong?

In addition to that, the bad guy's hacker, with the slightly-Swedishy accent, didn't even seem to know that the plan ever involved the McGuffin tablet (iMacGuffin?). After the murder all the employees, he sits down at one of the computers and goes "blah blah I can do all this cool shit but I can't override the thingy without --" and then Not Ruby Rose puts the tablet down next to him, and he goes, "Oh! .... cool." So the inclusion of the tablet was a facet of the plan that not everyone was hip to. Did anyone else think at first that Botha was the villain from the last two Mission: Impossible movies? It took me a second to convince myself this wasn't the same dude. Where are ANY of the cameras in this movie? Where are the cameras providing the news footage? Where are the cameras providing the feed for the holographic panels in the Pearl? How can D"TR"J be directly in front of Building Guy and not be in the shot? Same question about Botha at the end -- what camera can see and project a direct front angle of D"TR"J yet not so much as catch Botha's shoulder? Where is the camera in Neve Campbell's phone, such that she can drop her phone on its back while Skyping with D'TR"J, yet he can still clearly see her run away when the bad guys come? That phone should be looking at a ceiling that's on fire and nothing else.

The entire time he is holding that bridge to save their kids, everyone on screen should be broiled chicken. I can't sit too close to campfire even if it's cold out ... I can't imagine how hot all that burning steel would be. You're like Neil Degrasse Tyson for pandas.

Or have it end like mother! Have Rose's adoring crowd rip her to shreds and then burn all of Jacksonville to the ground. I think we've decided that what this movie needs is a Darren Aronofsky remake.

You've clearly never seen Joe Cocker perform

Wouldn't that have been a more fitting and less ironic death for Rose, though? She's at her lowest point, feeling like no one really loves and that she's all alone. A hotel room overdoes would be the epitome of her isolation. Instead, she dies in a moment where she is being adored and loved by thousands of fans from her own hometown ... she's the exact opposite of "alone" in that regard. Roses wilt, and wilting is a slow and agonizing process ... they don't implode from rock n roll excess.

That and drugs. When she's looking for change in the phone booth, she gulps down about 8 pills, and we're to believe that she was strung out on top of that? And sure, she was sad on stage, but she was also completely high. It wasn't sadness that required her to be carried onto the stage or to be propped up by the bass player. To be fair, that's not what a heroin OD looks like ... you don't collapse from exhaustion. Too much heroin makes your brain forget to breathe because it's too flooded with dopamine, but by the time it kills you, you've probably been laying around for a while. Her body would have to metabolize the pills, so maybe that accounts for the delay. But a severe alcoholic and pill user, mixing heroin, helplessness, and melodrama -- toxic combo.

I'd argue it's more like Bette Milder eulogizing Rose ... the actor eulogizing her own character.

I posit to you that this is less of a musical and more of a snuff film. This movie is two and a half hours of watching the world shit directly into the soul of a woman who is very talented and charismatic but who CLEARLY needs an intervention that she never gets because everyone around her is too busy trying to get what they can out of her. The AWOL soldiers lie to her and try to get a wild night from her. Her manager uses her, lies to her, and manipulates her. The world spits on her for wearing glittery scarves in its truckstop diners. She can't get laid. Harry Dean Stanton calls her trash and tells her she isn't good enough to sing his music. Everyone enables her most self-destructive tendencies. The last 45 minutes of the film is just her wandering through the streets of fucking Jacksonville with her tears smearing her make-up. At one point, Houston takes off and leaves her on her knees in a parking lot, and then some rando dude walks up and just shoves a whole bunch of pills into her hand. What the actual fuck, Sam? Everyone in the movie is like "To hell with the Rose," and as soon as they've sucked her dry and she's lying dead on stage, we get 30 seconds of David Keith, who had no bearing on the film in anyway, kinda nonchalantly leaving a photo on a memorial, lights go out, and roll credits. We don't get a eulogy, or a funeral, or any visible sign of mourning from the people in her life. How hard would it be to even roll credits over a single rose in a vase, its dew-moistened petals letting one single drop fall to the ground in symbolic acknowledgement of the tragic early passing of a lovely soul? But we don't get that because the movie's whole goal is to kill Bette Midler. Once that's done, roll credits. Job well done. 5 stars.

I said this during one of the viewings, but I really only knew of Bette Midler post-success, meaning as Bette Midler the entertainment icon from my parents' generation. I saw her in Hocus Pocus and in that one episode of Seinfeld where she starred in Rochelle Rochelle. Aside from that, she was just a celebrity who just seemed famous because she'd been famous for a while already. I feel like I would have had a more glowing vision of her if I had seen some of her performances from this movie, because holy shit does she let loose. There was a whole lot of Janis in her voice and in the sound of the band, which is always a positive, but watching her sweat and move and scream and writhe during her on-stage moments was really the main, possibly the only, true joy in watching this film. In that last moment, when she's just about to plotz, and she starts singing a song that she learned when she was just "so high" (Oscar-worthy wordplay, that), why isn't "The Rose" that song? There is no reason not to include that song in this moment ... it would've been a really sweet tribute to her mother, or whatever, by signing a song from her childhood sung to her, presumably, because of her name. She could have started by singing a few bars, and then the band could've picked up on the melody and the song structure, and could've built and built from there. The fact that the song had absolutely fuck-all to do with the movie is kind of infuriating, if for no other reason than how popular that song became, because that means that the most moving part of the movie, and the moment that resonated most with audiences, was the end credits. Imagine if MC Hammer's whole career was built around how awesome "The Addams Family Rap" was, or something like that.

Yes, thanks Cinco, for being a trooper.

Holy shit, you aren't kidding.

Never seen this! I could definitely be down for a rabbiting tonight.

How about "Fraction Jackson, Son of Action"

Anyone who thinks "hold on to your dick" isn't handy, pertinent advice clearly doesn't remember King Missile:

Yes, it is possible to jump over a car:

Seems fitting, actually. In many ways, the success and legacy of rock 'n roll is very accidental. Hell, someone earlier mentioned Bill Haley and "Rock Around the Clock," which was a B-side ... the producers thought that there was no way it would be a hit so they stuck in on the back of the single. Shows how everyone underestimated what a juggernaut rock music would become. Wouldn't you marry a person purely to show gratitude for getting your parent some judicial leniency? In some ways, that's a very biblical definition of marriage ... right up 1956's alley.