Thelonious Hunk

Mom? Dad? I'm sorry but I Shreked your car.

Oatmeal morning, noon, and night is a sure way to have your shits feel outta sight

Wilford Brimley comes to me every night in my dreams and force feeds me oatmeal with a funnel and, honestly, it's starting to turn me on

Nana's on the phone, she wants to know if you've been eating your oatmeal

Oatmeal oatmeal oatmeal. I hope everyone is getting enough oatmeal.

Oatmeal will cure what ails ya, if what ails ya is a lack of fiber

This just in, 'dog food lid' backwards spells 'dildo of god.' Full story at 11.

Themistocles

Shooting at the walls of Comedy Bang! Bang! I am Scott Aukerman

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when we're 69in'?

Wine 'em, dine 'em, get her home before nine 'em

These millennials are too busy eating ass to eat their oatmeal

Shaving the hair in your ass crack is a quick and simple way to brighten anyone's day!

Honestly, I don't even know what's real and what's a Simpson's joke that I'm misremembering.

The lady doth dick test too much, methinks. But she is a penis doctor.