She turned slowly, revealing a sly smile, looked deep in his waiting eyes, took a breath & whispered close in his ear: "Farts for days.Farts for days"

[She turned slowly, revealing a sly smile, looked deep in his waiting eyes, took a breath & whispered close in his ear: "Farts for days.Farts for days"]

She turned slowly, revealing a sly smile, looked deep in his waiting eyes, took a breath & whispered close in his ear: "Farts for days. Farts for days"

[Power Ranger Danger ! Power Ranger Danger !]

Power Ranger Danger ! Power Ranger Danger !

[Wrinkles mean you laughed, grey hair means you cared, and that crushing feeling of depression means life beat you down into submission.]

Wrinkles mean you laughed, grey hair means you cared, and that crushing feeling of depression means life beat you down into submission.

[At this support group, we're all just trying to get by. Luckily I had some by, and now we're all FUCKED UP.]

At this support group, we're all just trying to get by. Luckily I had some by, and now we're all FUCKED UP.

[Nothing better than sticking my yule log in the fire-crotch.]

Nothing better than sticking my yule log in the fire-crotch.

[Now you see, Little Timmy, this is how I remember it: When there's a queue in your gut, that means it's time to poo out your butt.]

Now you see, Little Timmy, this is how I remember it: When there's a queue in your gut, that means it's time to poo out your butt.

[Remember, George, no man is a failure who has friends with benefits.]

Remember, George, no man is a failure who has friends with benefits.

[Ho ho ho's before bro bro bro's.]

Ho ho ho's before bro bro bro's.

[Don't go breaking my heart, and certainly don't try to reconnect my vas deferens.]

Don't go breaking my heart, and certainly don't try to reconnect my vas deferens.

[To the man with only a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. To the man with only a putty knife, everything begins to look silly.]

To the man with only a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. To the man with only a putty knife, everything begins to look silly.

[I just flew in from milking a whole herd of bulls, and boy are my arms tired.]

I just flew in from milking a whole herd of bulls, and boy are my arms tired.

[It will be a cold day in hell before you know it, climate change is a bitch.]

It will be a cold day in hell before you know it, climate change is a bitch.

[Lucky for you my first and middle names are Lucky. Lucky Lucky Hitler.]

Lucky for you my first and middle names are Lucky. Lucky Lucky Hitler.

[Inspiration is all around us. Bird shit too.]

Inspiration is all around us. Bird shit too.

[You win some, you lose some, you toothsome.]

You win some, you lose some, you toothsome.

[Beyonce's fiancé played yahtzee with Potsie while Rome burned.]

Beyonce's fiancé played yahtzee with Potsie while Rome burned.

[You know, it's moments like this when I see a little bit of myself in you. Oh, oops sorry, let me take that out.]

You know, it's moments like this when I see a little bit of myself in you. Oh, oops sorry, let me take that out.

[You've reached the voice mailbox of 666, Dicks-Dicks-Dicks, Pee-Pee, Wee-Wee. Please leave a message at the tone.]

You've reached the voice mailbox of 666, Dicks-Dicks-Dicks, Pee-Pee, Wee-Wee. Please leave a message at the tone.

[Would you like to come up for a nightcap? Don't get any ideas, that's just the hat I wear while we're sexing.]

Would you like to come up for a nightcap? Don't get any ideas, that's just the hat I wear while we're sexing.

[Why did the chicken cross the road? Beaks me.]

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beaks me.

[Hi, may I have your attention. Now that I have it, what do you have left? Nothing. As if you never existed at all.]

Hi, may I have your attention. Now that I have it, what do you have left? Nothing. As if you never existed at all.

[We-all-cum to Comedy Bang Bang. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.]

We-all-cum to Comedy Bang Bang. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

[How much wood could a prude schmuck suck if a nude cuck you'd fuck screwed?]

How much wood could a prude schmuck suck if a nude cuck you'd fuck screwed?

[This must be a HOT mic, because I'm stroking it.]

This must be a HOT mic, because I'm stroking it.