SpankeyMcDougal

She turned slowly, revealing a sly smile, looked deep in his waiting eyes, took a breath & whispered close in his ear: "Farts for days. Farts for days"

Power Ranger Danger ! Power Ranger Danger !

Wrinkles mean you laughed, grey hair means you cared, and that crushing feeling of depression means life beat you down into submission.

At this support group, we're all just trying to get by. Luckily I had some by, and now we're all FUCKED UP.

Nothing better than sticking my yule log in the fire-crotch.

Now you see, Little Timmy, this is how I remember it: When there's a queue in your gut, that means it's time to poo out your butt.

Remember, George, no man is a failure who has friends with benefits.

Ho ho ho's before bro bro bro's.

Don't go breaking my heart, and certainly don't try to reconnect my vas deferens.

To the man with only a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. To the man with only a putty knife, everything begins to look silly.

I just flew in from milking a whole herd of bulls, and boy are my arms tired.

It will be a cold day in hell before you know it, climate change is a bitch.

Lucky for you my first and middle names are Lucky. Lucky Lucky Hitler.

Inspiration is all around us. Bird shit too.

You win some, you lose some, you toothsome.

Beyonce's fiancé played yahtzee with Potsie while Rome burned.

You know, it's moments like this when I see a little bit of myself in you. Oh, oops sorry, let me take that out.

You've reached the voice mailbox of 666, Dicks-Dicks-Dicks, Pee-Pee, Wee-Wee. Please leave a message at the tone.

Would you like to come up for a nightcap? Don't get any ideas, that's just the hat I wear while we're sexing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beaks me.

Hi, may I have your attention. Now that I have it, what do you have left? Nothing. As if you never existed at all.

We-all-cum to Comedy Bang Bang. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

How much wood could a prude schmuck suck if a nude cuck you'd fuck screwed?

This must be a HOT mic, because I'm stroking it.