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Content count
1099 -
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Last visited
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Days Won
11
Posts posted by Call Waiting for Godot
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Do my eyes betray me, or is that a gerbil up your butt, Mr. Gere?
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My buddy's homemade "Cumbucha" is the healthiest drink around, but I wish I didn't have jerk him off into a glass of vinegar to prepare a fresh batch.
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My buddy was catfished for years, but that was just a red herring... the real threat was an angry narwhal with a loaded revolver.
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I've got that mohel madness, brother, and that's a foreskin itch that just can't be scratched!
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And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee, all the way until he had a kinky-ass pee pee fetish.
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As it turns out, the "outbreak monkey" was your dirty donger all along.
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Jam it up your bunger, ya ain't gettin' any younger!
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Allow me to mansplain this to you a little clearer, mmmkaaaay? The cancer in your butt is killing you, bro.
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I'M THE BIGGEST GODDAMN POTATO PEELER TYCOON YOU'LL NEVER HOPE TO MEET... THAT'S WHO!
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ALL MY HOMIES ROLL ASS-DEEP IN FRANKINCENSE 'N MYRRH!!! FRANKINCENSE 'N MYRRH!!! FRANKINCENSE 'N MYRRH!!!
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Put my eel in your veal, and then we'll be doin' the dirty surf and turf, baby!
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The architect was told to render the fat as he cooked dinner. He misunderstood a bit, I guess, and created a building shaped just like your mom.
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Drain that cyst gristle for an unparalleled bliss missile!
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Taught my boys that any animal could be a stuffed animal... s’long as ya stuffed it with your dong all the evenin’ long.
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The catchphrase caught praise, despite languishing in a deep malaise.
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My toxic shock syndrome didn't jump-start my Prius as advertised!!! The seizures, renal failure, and diarrhea... they were all for nothing?
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"When you tickle the ivories, don't forget to work the trunk!" whispered Mr. Elephant.
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"It puts the lotion in the basket"? That's product placement 101, big guy.
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Tout de suite, Tooth Fairy... tarry no longer! Mounds of molars await thee! Hence fly away!
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"TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!!!" she screamed, as blood dripped from their ears. Indeed, it was sound advice!
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A Dick York in the streets but a Dick Sargent in the sheets
Gimme mother's milk, plus daddy's juice, and I'll shake 'n shimmy my dirty lil caboose.
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