the ostrich

i know that you're all DYING to know about whether or not i did that trade with my fantasy basketball team (GIVE: Enes Kanter / GET: Jeff Teague). welp, i didn't end up doing it, which i'm perfectly fine with because Jeff Teague missed a couple of weeks with an injury and Nikola Vucevic (probably my best player this year) broke his hand about a month ago. had i done that trade, i'd be severely hurting for rebounds having lost two big men. plus, I like Vuc's upside over Teague's (i'm in a keeper league).

shout out to chef kevin for climbing up the ladder to become a FEATURED PLAYER in this week's ads

i just beat the main story in mario odyssey, WOW what a game! spoiler possibly???? OH MY GOODNESS THE SM64 COSTUME IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM WAS SOMETHING I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED BEFORE. GOLLY NINTENDO SURE DOES KNOW HOW TO WEAPONIZE NOSTALGIA

i guess i didn't polish and wax my car enough because it appears that i had too much DRAG that's why i lost

is this on page 2 yet?

i have just reached the moon in mario odyssey, so please don't spoil anything for me. VvV possible spoiler? VvV i was very upset when i found the mushroom kingdom secret passage in the luncheon kingdom. i feel like that reveal would have been so much more fun/exciting/nostalgic if i didn't see it early.

i'm going to stop you right at 4 posts in a row, henry.

wait, the ford pinto was the one that blew up if it got rear-ended. phew! i can finally sleep with a pillow again.

bob dylan, more like bot dylan

i have just been notified that i had forgotten that the Handbook 5000 had begun and my car was still getting a nice polish in the paddock. my car is an amc pacer named el pacero, and it's got a little rubber nub over the rogue screw that has been known to puncture the gas tank and cause the car to explode if rear-ended. so that DEFINITELY won't be a problem. i also threw a pillow in-between the gas tank and the fender as an added measure of safety. sorry if my picture is too large

does sean sing that one portugal, the man song again this week? talk about a JAM

i am looking forward to this as well.

i got your list RIGHT HERE good ep this week boys. i hope the hors d'oeurves weren't too difficult to clean up.

shocked and heartbroken at this news. i should be so flattered that fellow hoosier daivd letterman was playing the vacuum in my honor. the only option now is to fund a rock-u-mentary produced by the birthday boys about our meteoric rise and fall.

i'm sorry to report that nick young is no longer good simply because he broke his rule of "no tats on the right arm strictly for buckets."

i would have called in, but i've had the worst case of cotton mouth recently and i haven't the faintest idea as to why

Lookin' Good Dalton! Love The NEW Profile Picture! It's So YOU!!!

much appreciated analysis. thankfully, we don't play with turnovers, so that's not an issue. my roster is really heavy on 3's and steals, and rebounds are probably my 3rd best category. assists are really far down, so i figure it's better to be slightly above average with rebounds and below average with assists than average or below average in both categories. teague would definitely help boost up my 3's and steals, but i'm already 9-0 and 7-1-1 in those categories this season, so it might not even be worth it if it means sacrificing above averageness in rebounds. I've also got isaiah thomas coming back soon, and while his best season is most certainly behind him, he'll certainly help in 3's and assists (not to the extent that teague does for assists, though). you make a good point about kanter's injury proneness, though. aside from a couple seasons ago where teague had a knee(?) injury, he's been pretty reliable.

hey guys, i just got a trade proposal in fantasy basketball, and i want your advice on it. here's the proposed trade: SEND: Enes Kanter (C, NYK) RECEIVE: Jeff Teague (PG, MIN) I'm in need of assists, but i'd be losing a lot in rebounds if i do this (currently 4th in rebounds and 8th in assists). my thinking is that if i just focus on a couple of categories and overload on those that i'd be better off than trying to be mid level with all categories. idk, though. thanks for posting those interviews, ...! i recently cancelled my subscription to Rolling Stone, but is appears that i might have to "pivot to print" if i want to read these interviews in full!

B) i have also decided that my signature look is double posting every time and there's nothing you can do to stop me B)

great choice with brazil! that way we can avoid all those people that will comment on our social media with "come to brazil!!!!!"

while i am concerned about the future legal ramifications of our name choice, i am glad we're riding it out with our original controversial name. also, i would have undoubtedly been a Wet Sleeve, which i feel like people would then twist into me being a wet noodle or something. i love love LOVE the choice of "Divine Fulfillment of Perfect Productivity" as our closer. i think people will be shocked at how hard Weiser is to get. he really owns it. i choose odle gymnasium at in upland, indiana (because i want all my haters from college to see how young, rich, and successful i've become), madison square garden in NYC (just so i can wear a reggie miller jersey and get boo'd every time i have a solo). as for international, let's do the international space station. i know jack white is all about the unconventional with music distribution. he already tied a record player to a weather balloon, so how much more difficult could it be to tie a band to several weather balloons?

another flawless new episode post, dalton!

also, i accidentally vacuumed up some legos, but it makes a cool beat when they're whirling around in there so i'm just gonna keep them in there. we'll have to make sure whatever songs we played are to the same bpm as the legos (which will be hard because they aren't exactly on a steady beat but we'll make do).

i don't know if the state of indiana would benefit much from advertising on hollywood handbook, but i'll see what i can do