Smigg.

One thing that always gets me is this. Why do all of these "Young girl ends up in the Royal Family from a far away land, and fall in love" always have a fictional country, usually in Alpine Europe it seems, yet they always have a cut-glass English accent? And the country's flag?! It's Nigeria. And don't get me started on the name, "Aldovia", it's just fucking "Genovia" from The Princess Diaries... That's right, I've seen The Princess Diaries! This has gotten me irrationally mad.

Seeing as we're heading to the new year, I had a small wishlist for episodes I wish they'd do. The obligatory Mortal Kombat: Annihilation request. Ready To Rumble: David Arquette and Scott Caan become pro-wrestling managers for WCW wrestler, Jimmy KIng (Oliver Platt), in a movie that can't decide whether pro wrestling is a choreographed show, or a real fight. Undefeatable: You've all seen the infamous "Worst Fight Scene Ever" video on Youtube, well the full movie is even more batshit, Jason's gonna go crazy watching this. The robbery scene is worth the podcast alone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN4aXtJvtbI Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning This movie is just fucking weird, the previous movie (Universal Soldier: Regeneration) is fucking outstanding for a straight-to-DVD action movie, then this came out, and I don't know why they did this. The Kickboxer/Bloodsport Sequels No need to focus on singular movies for these, as the sequels as a singular entity are batshit. Like with Kickboxer, they bring back Tong Po, with a different guy, with so much prosthetic make-up, he looks like a horribly botched botox operation, however, they also use archive footage of the first Kickboxer, and it becomes even more obvious. With Bloodsport, they have a new main actor in 2, and he stays until 4, but they change his character entirely in the last one. Tactical Force: 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin and Michael Jai White are members of an over-zealous SWAT team who are forced to go back into training. However, they're caught in the middle of rival gangs, and they have to fight their way out. The problem is... they're only armed with blanks! Even Steve Austin has said of his movie career "I starred in some real piece of shit movies". Maximum Conviction: 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin and Steven Segal have to escort two high priority prisoners, from one prison to another. That's all that's worth saying about it. Let's just say, one of the actors seemingly gave a shit about the movie, and it wasn't Steven Segal. The Marine/12 Rounds: These two are pretty much interchangeable. Someone who deserves much more than to play the villain in the movie (Robert Patrick and Aiden Gillen respectively) kidnaps John Cena's wife, and John Cena goes on the rampage to get them back. The Chaperone: Triple H plays an ex-con who is trying to rebuild his relationship with his estranged daughter (Ariel Winter), but gets dragged into one more heist by his former partner (Kevin Corrigan), however, he has a change of heart, and decides to join his daughter on a school field trip... however, the money that was stolen has ended up on the school bus!! (Holy shit, WWE make bad movies! Doesn't need to be said really, but god damn)

I fucking LOVED Paul in this movie. The part where they're about to shoot the sex scene, and James Franco says "Ewwww, what is that on your shoulder! It's disgusting!" and Paul comes storming out like a good guy pro-wrestler, I loved it. It's not even bias because I'm such a huge fan of his, he was great.

Well, if we're counting the younger ones from Expendables 3, you also have Ronda Rousey and Victor Ortiz. But you're right, out of the main core of them, Couture's the most recent pro fighter. Out of all of them, I'd say the best chances are against Schwarzenegger. Or, maybe Liam Hemsworth if we're counting him.

I watched it, it's fucking baffling.

Dolph Lundgren was a karate champion as well.

Grammar isn't really one of The Expendables. He's basically a guy who pimps out mercinaries for want of a better term, I don't consider him a core member. However, Paul is absolutely insane for even contemplating Randy Couture.

Okay, so I've not been here for a while, wanted to make a comeback, and my account doesn't work, so just remember, it's SMIGG, but with a dot on the end, I know it's a huge change, but we'll get used to it together. While I was away, I gathered some thoughts on various movies/shows/etc.. - I LOVE Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, she nails the role, because it's easy to play a bad ass woman, who just ends up as what basically amounts to a role that could be a guy, but is just played by a woman instead. But there was this thing that Gadot did that I really liked - LOL was on TV here, and I had PTSD flashbacks... SHIT DICKS FOREVER!! - I watched a movie called "The Eliminators" starring Scott Adkins and Wade Barrett from WWE, there's a bit where Adkins gets beaten up by a bunch of guys with baseball bats, but one of them accidently hit him in the balls for real, and that's the take they kept in the film, I still chuckle thinking about it. - Guardians of the Galaxy 2 nearly made me cry, and Dave Bautista needs his own Drax movie - I don't know why there's so much virtiol towards Justice League, I don't really care about comic book movies, but I enjoyed it. - Dunkirk was fucking GREAT. - Kingsman: The Golden Circle was fucking GREAT - I enjoyed Daddy's Home 2. - I wanted to see A Bad Mom's Christmas, but the only days I could go to the cinema, it wasn't on, and the days I couldn't go, it was on. - My friend Mark blocked me because I kept on sending him pictures of Tommy Wiseau - The Disaster Artist is my favourite movie of the year, and even though I'm biased as an HDTGM fan, Paul was absolutely incredible in the movie, the part where he defends Juliette, I was almost going "Yeah, Paul! Fucking get him!" - I watched Ghostbusters on Sky Movies, wasn't really worth it in the end. - Die Hard remains the greatest Christmas movie EVER - Francis Ngannou is a scary man, and he scares the shit out of me. - The Rock needs to stop saying 'Yes' to bad movies, just do the action movies. - I'm far too excited for the Royal Rumble - I'm still threatening Paul with a powerbomb!