Smigg.

Do you know the best way to survive this movie? You have to convince yourself that this is a prequel to The Last Boy Scout.

It's closer to Die Hard, there are even nods to it throughout the movie. One non-spoiler aspect being the villain calling his henchmen, and actually saying "So don't waste time talking to me", an EXACT Hans Gruber quote. I'm amazed they got away with adding so many Die Hard references.

After bringing the world "The Hurricane Heist", British movie channel Sky Cinema brings us their latest movie, FINAL SCORE! Starring Dave Bautista as a retired special forces fighter, he visits his deceased friend's family in London, with a couple of tickets to take his daughter to watch West Ham in a crucial European match, but a much more deadly game is happening off the pitch. Guys, this movie is fucking nuts. Absolutely perfect for HDTGM, we saw how crazy the Hurricane Heist was, this is on that level. You have to see it.

And, here?

Now, I am going to ask an important question. The question is... what in the living fuck is Jason Statham doing here?!

If "The Meg" was going to feature Meg Ryan, the only possible way this could go is if it was a dramatic retelling of the infamous Michael Parkinson interview, if you've never seen that, you should check it out, it's one of the most awkward things I have ever seen on TV. That being said, a movie could work quite nicely, with Jason Statham as an elderly Yorkshireman, trying to get a conversation out of a CGI shark, and getting more and more pissed off as time went on. It would be the new Frost/Nixon. However, it would not be the first time Meg Ryan and Jason Statham appeared on screen together, in fact, here in this 1995 music video for The Beautiful South's cover of "Dream A Little Dream", which was on the soundtrack for Meg Ryan's movie "French Kiss". Jason Statham appears as an extra.

That's why I've all but given up on television news, because the exact same story is told in completely opposite ways depending on the channel you watch, and it's getting worse.

Jones didn't say anything, because it didn't fit the agenda. I do remember a segment on The Daily Show, when John Oliver did pretty much the only thing I ever enjoyed him doing, when he was watching a match on Raw where the commentators were talking about Coulter aligning with Cesaro, and they said something along the lines of "Well, I thought Coulter didn't want foreign people coming into the country, but now he's okay with it when they're doing his bidding like Cesaro?!" and Oliver is sat there stunned saying "What is this thing that's being said on television?! Why is professional wrestling having the most nuanced and reasonable debate about immigration?!"

Funny you bring up nWo, because I remember Alex Jones losing his shit about them. He basically said "THEY'RE DOING THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!! They make a group, call them the New World Order, and they put Hulk Hogan in it to make everybody like them! They want you to like the idea of a New World Order! It's happening folks, it's happening, and they're showing you exactly how they're gonna do it!" One little caveat that Alex didn't understand... they were the bad guys. It was also around the time when they introduced Zeb Coulter as Jack Swagger's Tea Party Lunatic manager. "They're making the Americans the bad guys, they're making the American guy look stupid, and have the Mexican beat him, it's to make people look at America like we're the dopes, and to embrace globalism!" One little caveat that Alex didn't understand... Swagger, despite being the villain, was supposed to be dominant, but the idiot got caught in a DWI and a car full of weed 2 weeks before WrestleMania, and they just wrote him off. Swagger and Coulter later became good guys when there were "Russian" villains. But, it was hilarious, how the WWF made up the nWo for people to like the idea of a one world government, when the WWF didn't have anything to do with it.

I wish the contents of that can just emptied out into her face. The stupid old bat.

If anything, it helps when you have to deal with moralistic busy bodies saying "They're worshipping the devil! Those are devil horns! And when you look and the positions of the fingers, you see it right there, it's 6... 6... 6.... this is clearly the devil's music!"

Don't worry about it, dump away

Oddly enough, I went into it in the main thread. Ronnie James Dio claims that he brought it to metal, because of his grandmother using it. It's prevelent in Italian culture, and he thought it looked cool. James Hetfield think's it's Spiderman.

Okay, my "Make Paul laugh" streak continues, but barely. Got a little chuckle when he saw the part about the lingerie store. So I'm good with that.

He's watched too many teen comedies where the protagonists need a make a quick buck.

Oddly enough, he's applied for nearly 200 different trademarks, but only 44 have been granted, most of which just make him look awful, like the various car wash ideas.

Okay, another story about Gene Simmons being a dick. This time, I'm going back to the "Rockstar" thread. Remember a few years ago, when Paris Hilton tried to trademark "That's Hot!"? Well, Gene Simmons attempted a similar thing with the "Metal Horns" hand gesture, because, he "invented" it. And the way he did it? It was completely accidental! After a show, he was waving to the crowd, but he still had his bass pick in his hand, because those things cost a dollar, so he wasn't throwing that shit away. Well, because he had his pick in his hand, only his index finger, and his pinky finger were up, and when he looked into the crowd, they were doing it back to him, like it was a hand gesture. Ipso facto, Gene Simmons "invented" the metal horns, so he should be allowed to trademark them, and make you pay to use them. But, this has made me look into what other things Gene Simmons has trademarked and some of them are just weird: - The term "Motion Picture". - Those bags with the dollar sign on them - "Chefs of Rock" - "International Fight Club" - "Naked Car Wash" - "Exotic Car Wash" - "Girls, Girls, Girls Car Wash" - "Topless Car Wash" - "Nude Car Wash" - "Erotic Car Wash" - "Bikini Car Wash" - "Gene Jeans" Mens Fashion - Gene Simmons' Rock Star Comedy Jam - "Masters of Reality" - He's stolen the name of a Black Sabbath album there. - S#IT GIRLS SAY - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 - ?ENIS I believe that's supposed to be "Penis". So, what he's doing is just sitting on shit so that other people can't use them without paying him. What a dick. Although, this is also a guy who tried to trademark "Love", and even admitted that he'd try to trademark the air if he could. True to his name, he did release an album called "Asshole", which contains a hilarious cover of "Firestarter", the video just has to be seen to be believed.

Gene Simmons being a dick should be discussed a little more, because, I've been a Kiss fan for a good few years. But, Holy Shit, isn't Gene Simmons just a constant stream of ridiculous. So, here's a story that should further show just what a tool this man is. When Penelope Spheeris was putting together interviews for "The Fall of Western Civilisation Part II: The Metal Years", she was asking various guys in the "Heavy Metal" scene to do interviews for the movie, and where they would want to be interviewed. Ozzy was just interviewed at home, but insisted that he gets to wear his bathrobe, because he was really pleased with the bathrobe, Lemmy wanted to be interviewed at The Whiskey, and guys just picked where they wanted to do their's. Gene Simmons can't help but be Gene Simmons. When he was approached by Penelope, he said "I'll do the interview. However, I don't want to do anything tacky or embarrassing." Penelope then said "That's fine, I wouldn't want you to do anything that you would think was embarrassing. So, where do you want to do the interview?" Was it in his sprawling mansion? A mansion that Chris Jericho said was a huge museum for all things Kiss. Nope. Maybe one of the studios that Kiss works in? Nope. Well, he doesn't want it to be tacky, so maybe his favourite place to hang out? No. Then again, it is Gene Simmons, and Gene Simmons will be Gene Simmons, so how about The Playboy Mansion? He's friends with Hugh Hefner, Shannon Tweed was a Playmate of the Year. No. The interview took place somewhere that wasn't in the least bit "Tacky or Embarrassing" A fucking lingerie store!

Okay, the Kiss Kaskets were brought up. Dimebag Darrell and his brother, Vinnie Paul were buried in them. So, if it's good enough for Vinnie and Dime of Pantera, then it's good enough for everybody else. But, Kiss Kaskets are just the tip of the iceberg. Some other "interesting" merch items. - "Tongue Lubricated" Kiss Kondoms - Kiss Mr Potato Head - Kiss Checkers - Kiss Air Guitar Strings On top of all that Gene Simmons was recently selling his own branded "Gene Simmons Vault". And for $2000, you get 10 CDs, with over 150 unreleased songs featuring a who's who of music, as well as a special edition action figure, a comemorative "In Gene We Trust" coin, and a special book with unseen pictures throughout his career. And the best part is? Gene will deliver it to you personally! He did not respond when I asked him if he would chuck some Shannon Tweed movies in there for that price.

Wrestling absolutely is a real man's sport. Because Kurt Angle won the Olympic Gold Medal, with a broken fucking neck! He broke his fucking neck, won the fucking Olympics for America, IN America, then he cried, because it was just too much fucking AMERICA to handle. If Kurt Angle can't handle that much AMERICA, do you know how much AMERICA that fucking is?! It's fucking LOADS!! I could handle it, because I'm British, and the term "Yeah, that's alright, that is." is considered HIGH praise.

Seeing as it was an HDTGM movie, I might as well share it. There was a "Huge, shocking confession" about Jean-Claude Van Damme from Steven H. De Souza from the set of Street Fighter, 24 years ago. Apparently, he was "coked out of his mind the entire time". I don't know about anybody else, but to me, that's not a "shocking confession" about JCVD in the mid-90s. If anything, the shocking confession about JCVD in the mid-90s would have been "Nah, he was a dream to work with, didn't touch any coke, didn't drink a drop of alcohol... and he kept his hands to himself when he was around the women who worked on the set." Guy was a scumbag in the 90s.

You guys have gouda stop with these cheese puns!

I might be the one with the easiest name for Paul to pronounce.

Not to dredge up previous battles, but it does make the overall point. When there was the "Can't Stop The Music" Battle Royal, Paul showed himself to be a genuinely good guy who puts ego to the side and said "Sometimes, people aren't going to like what you do, at least you weren't dicks about it". I've seen people vanity search the project they're working on, and when they come across somebody who doesn't like it, they start sending abuse their way. So for Paul to see it on his own forum (for want of a better term), and not turn around and say "Go fuck yourself, go listen to something else if you don't like it" shows not only his maturity as a performer, but his maturity as a man. I dunno, I think I've been burned too many times by people who I previously liked, and then saw how they acted towards people, but I like Paul.

Got mentioned, made Paul laugh, and got a nice story out of it. Good start to the day. That's gonna be what I do. Just try to make Paul laugh, don't care about 'winning', just making Paul laugh.