Robert Denby

For the street scenes FROM THE FUTURE! I feel like the director asked the set designer for something like “Blade Runner,” only cheaper-looking The end credit music sounds a lot like the “Jurassic Park” theme. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then John Williams got the shit flattered out of him.

I must take exception with Jason’s negative opinion of the artists on the Transformers soundtrack. Well, one exception. Cheap Trick is awesome.

From this day forward, this is my favorite movie scene ever.

You can understand the low budget, what with the clever recycling of props. And I'm pretty sure they used orange soda for blood in the final fight scene.

Again, another indication of bad planning. She either didn’t know there would be metal detectors (bad), or she just liked having a gun in her vag (gross).

Especially since Frazier Rumble told him he’d kill his family if he double-crossed him.

Maybe it’s just me, but in the last scene of the movie, Denise Richards behaves as if she’s never seen a dog in her life.

Especially since they were there to kill a woman and a child. (I zoned out a little towards the end, but I don’t think The Rumble was aware of Thomas Jane’s involvement in the heist.)

I realize it’s a cliché, but this movie really needed an over-the-top Nick Cage-level performance from the lead. Edge plays it as if he’s taking this role seriously, which is completely wrong for this flick. Rest his soul, but imagine Roddy Piper in this role. It would make this movie transcendent.

You know, Paul mentioned Annabeth Gish wanting to be a part of an HDTGM, and she was in a movie called “Shag: The Movie.” A tenuous connection, but a sixties beach movie made in 1989 seems like it could be a good episode.

I thought they looked more like swim trunks. Maybe he was planning on a trip to the pool, but got sidetracked by boning.

I really have to question Jaimie Gertz’s reporter’s skills. She goes to the romance novel convention, sees the table with Shelley Long’s novels, a life-size cutout of Shelley Long, with Shelley Long standing next to it, but doesn’t figure out who Long is until she sees her autographing one of her books. Bob Woodward she ain’t.

Her husband seemed to be making Asian food. The dish that made Gertz sick was something with jellyfish.

I can’t stop hearing “Against The Ninja” by Dragon Sound (a new dimension in rock and roll) during this movie. I demand a Ninja Cinematic Universe that does a “Miami Connection/Ninja III” mash-up.

And can we mention the ninja’s incredible good fortune to have a hidden mountain lair with a weapons cache so near a suburban Arizona golf course?