Kilgore Lake Trout

I ordered a vodka cranberry and the waiter placed it in front of my wife...that is all.

Whinnie the Pooh is getting married! Welcome to the Pooh family, Diane the Diarrhea.

Double, double toil and trouble; Essential oils, and hipster stubble.

Love your job, never work a day in your life. Hate your job, better find a rich wife.

Rainbow coloured smoothie, chocolate ripple poopie. Either way brain freeze renders me immobile.

Sleepy, creepy, sometimes weepy.

Seaweed and anal beads, Aquaman’s basic needs.

This ain’t your grandpas entertainment son, this is some newfangled millennial bullshit.

The monkey was slain by a mulberry branch. Jizz! goes the weasel.

Pop! The weasel exacted his revenge with fury, anger, and violence.

Fig newtons are a delicious snack, pigs toot’n produce serious crap.

Grapple with snapple you may drown in crapple

Danishes from Denmark, Swiss Roll from Switzerland, Canadian bacon from Canada, and smuckchops from Xanadu.

Decade, century, millennia, eon...break them down enough and they are all just jiffy packets.

Never presume anything you twat, I could easily have been Mr Deadingstone.

Dip it, lick it, heck even flick it. But whatever you do, by god don’t snip it!

Embalm me, cremate me, just don’t let Steve Buscemi eat me.

Can't hardly wait for Ethan Philan’s comeback.

Coup d’etat, coupe de ville, what’s the difference? Well, great grandpa Ernie, a lost leg...a lost leg is the difference.

Shivers and quivers may float my boat, but five good anal clenches sustain me

Wilford Brimley can s my d, I AM the oatmaster.

Banana Rama trippin’ grandma

Over the course of my life I have realized a few things, not the least of which is to get a fourth, even fifth helping of that sweet sweet puddie tang.

Sorry pal, but times ain’t the same as they used to be. One wiener dog per family policy is now in effect.

Hurt’n unit applies in many a case. But boy, you bout’ to find out just how excruciatin’ a big ol’ blue ballin’ can rightly git’.