Kilgore Lake Trout

Titties and clitties, hit’em and quit’em.

After careful consideration, the feminine form is too elegant and graceful to lyricize. It is with a heavy heart that I must discard my little ditty bout’ dem’ titties and clitties.

Maple, spruce, but not a cat, screwing trees is where I’m at.

Candice Bergen, Murphy Brown, two hand session straight to pound town

Hemorrhoids and herpes. Wish you were here?

Blimey, try me, just don’t pass my by’me.

Don’t be fickle, tickle my pickle. When in doubt, pound that trout.

I ate a sloth once. It took me forever! Sure did leave me sluggish, and gave me diarrhea for months.

Tropical vacations make me hot and bothered, not sexually, more contextually.

The plan is simple Billy, you distract Shrek, I grab‘em right by the Puss’n’boots.

Chocolate cookies, strawberry jam, in your butt’s the master plan.

Hip hip hooray, doctors are on their way. Whole set of Micro-Machines in my rectum, where did they I was gonna collect’em?

Cut the muzak, sleep with Joan Cusack. “What about Joan” is makin’ me groan.

I’ve got the wand now! No, no, no more hoe’s. Only the finest escorts for this wiz wiz.

Is that gentle predator someone you know from high school? That. did. not. go. well...

Gift delivered, head back south. Bird droppings in your mouth.

Training with samurai sword is the only way to prevent osteosamuraithritis.

Open cuts, mixed breed mutts, cross contamination. Wish I wasn’t such a klutz, prone to masturbation.

Fifty dollars for signed prints? How big of celebrities do you think you are?! Now, shut up and take my money...

Sharting is akin to godliness, too bad it leads to loneliness.

Eat right, Sleep right, keep that butthole clenched tight.

What is an orifice if not a place to stuff things?

Particulated fecal matter matters to me my friend, more so than your vaunted solid state stinkers.

Spinsters have cats, those cats eat rats. Plague never stood a chance against those perpetually single ladies.

Once, twice, three times a lady. Attempt a forth, so help me god, you will regret going back to that well.