Naughty Nelly Nutmeg

Hi, I'm Scott Auckerman. You probably remember me from such public service announcements as "Why it's ok for me to sleep with my step-sister" and "How to get away with breast-feeding into your teens".

Every time I take a shit I ask the toilet "Can you smell what my ass is cooking?" And I have yet to get a reply.

As Abraham Lincoln once said "If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North."

From chronic to collapse -- town and into now (respictively, that is) this is R.U. Talkin' R.E.M R.E. me? A comprehensive compendium of all things R.E.M.

THE RED COATS ARE COMING!! THE RED COATS ARE COMING!! Just a heads up for next fall's big ticket item. Come on down to Big Bob's Coat-porium for free samples.