Senorita Rorita

Let's put the Christ back in Christmas and the Tit back in Titular

If one of the things that you liked most about The Room was Tommy Wiseau's fundamental misunderstanding of human emotion, this may be a movie for you. The plotting and characters are wholly inscrutable. Each plot point (especially the titular pups) feels like an insane and awkward addition to absolutely nothing; there is no possible story that makes sense. The writer very much doesn't even understand the most basic elements of getting dogs. Or naming things. Or how any person would ever interact with another. The lead, a jilted dog psychiatrist hired at a struggling startup, is played without any humor, which just makes everything a thousand times more bizarre. I like to think my bad Christmas movie tolerance is pretty high - made it through the solid 20 minute croquet sequence in Santa's Christmas Cabin with limited fast forwarding - but this one is just a perplexing mess. I can't watch for more than ten minutes at a time. It's so subtle in how it upsets you, like a bad dream where everything just feels off. So this is highly recommended for masochists and connoisseurs; it may be too much for P+J+J. Available on Hulu.

If all things shaped like a circle are circular, all things shaped like a tit must be titular.