MisterOriginality

God only knows how she attaches two pieces of paper together. She glues in mysterious ways.

I may not have book smarts, but I know a stale cookie when I see one. Friends call me Cookie Monster, although I’ve known many names.

But would you mingle with a single Pringle?

Party in the front. Deliveries in the back.

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for your solid tight five on air travel.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum, but I’m not allowed to talk about it

Life is about impermanence. Fireworks. Sandcastles. A big bowl of ice cream with scrumptious sprinkles. True beauty.

Three’s a crowd, except at a funeral.

Kissed a frog to get a prince, and I’ve been tripping ever since.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap those cheeks.

I may only be a little footnote, but it’s an honor to be annotated.

The snozzberries taste like wallpaper.

And that’s how the sandwich was invented.

Put it on my card. Now shuffle the deck. Is this your card? I can’t pay the check.

Said the little lamb to the Shepard boy: “Judy Greer what I Greer?”

Funk machine broken, please try again later.

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had coffee thrown in my face for being such an aggressive introvert.

Due to complications, the juice is loose

A tisket. A tasket. Bro, where’d you buy that basket?

Who am I to accuse Captain Crunch of stolen valor?

It’s not a pyramid scheme, it’s The Great Pyramid Scheme.

There’s a special place in hell for those that make early reservations.

If your feet run and your nose smells, please proceed with caution.

Plant shawarmas! More than meat inside!