shittydave

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, take an hour and give me a shower.

Wakey wakey, hands off snakey. Sleepy sleepy, hands on peepee.

When it’s go big or go home...I just go home.

You say tomato, I say solanum lycopersicum

I’m nothing but a seaman in the Baby Gravy Navy.

If you drive below the speed limit in the left lane, please marry me. Marry me and I promise I’ll make your life as miserable as you make mine.

Whoever named “college ruled” paper was probably feeling really nostalgic at the time.

Don't you know? Don't you know things can change Things'll go your way If you Heynong for one more day

Sorry, I was on mute. Can you guys see my screen? Can everyone hear me? You were frozen for a second. We can go ahead and get started.

Comedy Bang Bang: the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like literally everything I've ever done in my shitty life. Sigh.