Jennifer JasonLee HarveyOswald
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Content count
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Last visited
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Days Won
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Posts posted by Jennifer JasonLee HarveyOswald
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It turns out "go the the store and grab a skirt steak" does not mean what I thought, and I sincerely apologize, your honor.
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Please feel free to attribute this catchphrase to a user named “Garry Marshall’s Ghost”. I felt like *actually* creating that account would be bad Juju.
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Now that you know my pronouns, check out my adverbs: Wetly, Hotly, and occasionally Scottly.
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Giddy up jingle whores, pick up your feet. No, you can't cancel me- your resume explicitly said "Jingle Whore".
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One time, my wife was on the show. It's been 3 weeks since that episode. I only mention it because she doesn't know how the Cantina Band song goes. I assume nobody does.
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No baseball this spring, no wintertime hockey. Bring me your face and I'll teach you bukkake.
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Snowin' AND Blowin'? Ok, you were right- Jingle Bell Square is a pretty dope club, baby.
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"United" comes from the latin, meaning "only one Ted". Mr. Nugent;Â Senator Cruz;Â You two dickweeds are going to have to fight it out to see who stays on this flight.
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This week on "Grizzly Man: Ironic Celebrity Edition", Amy Poehler gets eaten. No, like, by a bear.
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Jeffrey Toobin was lubin' while Merrill Stubing was pooping. Welcome to the very worst episode of The Love Boat.
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Welcome to my underwear. Or, as the label reads, "Small Business; Saturday".
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I panicked at the disco, got covered in Crisco, and rolled to the church in my new....wait....oh my god, that's not crisco!!
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I can't believe you losers have only found ONE of the CBB monoliths we put out there.
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These are some real nice ears you gots here. Be a real shame if you was to stop listening to the show and something was to happen to 'em.
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Leave the Bang Bang.Take the Comedy. Welcome to Cannoli Gun Gun.
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Liquor store? I don’t even know where her store is located! Seriously, can someone explain the clitoris to me?
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I’ve got a booty like a Cadillac: Designed in the 70’s and, if we’re being candid, a little overpriced for what you actually get.
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All the downtown ladies call me “treetop lover”. All the mens just call me squirrel.
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I NEVER want to hear you say "I want it that way". Now will you boys please leave my backstreet Burger King?
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From the window to the walls to the attic- the insulation in this house is terrible. Come to think of it, that might be why your balls are so sweaty.
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It's time for an Ernest discussion about the center of the earth. Know what I mean, Jules Verne?
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Tune your dial, lock it in, and jerk your knob off. It's time to masturbate to Comedy Bang Bang.
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Stay tuned- this could be the episode where them Duke boys (David and Marma) finally win.
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Dr. Watts and I have completed the procedure to remove the excess urine from your wife’s kidneys. We de-peed your wife. She loved it.
I'd like to thank the poll workers... and all the other strip club employees too. I'm having a super fun time!
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I'd like to thank the poll workers... and all the other strip club employees too. I'm having a super fun time!