Cornelius Beans

If they don’t find you handsome, find someone who looks at you

You can't carve a turkey without sharpening your blade and going to your neighbours garage to slash their tires

When you stream a one, your day has just begun; when you drop a two, you put the past behind you; when you squirt a three, that’s poop mixed with pee.

Never water a plant that didn't put a gun to your head and cough in your ear

Put a horse out of work, ride a cowboy

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the cumulative trauma the dog has experienced