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Schadenfreude's Dead Cat

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Topics posted by Schadenfreude's Dead Cat

  1.  

    One should always punch up in comedy. Especially when crouching beneath Donald Trump's testicles. 

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 197 views
  2.  

    One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. I fish, you fish, stop fishing! Quit eating dolphins!!! The coral is dying!!!!!

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 224 views
  3.  

    After tonight's podcast, the final podcast ever of Comedy Bang Bang, I'll finally have time to remove all these skin tags.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 249 views
  4.  

    Math and watching porn are basically the same. Either way, I'm embarrassed if someone walks in the room and sees me masturbating while I'm doing it.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 222 views
  5.  

    I was going to write another juvenile catchphrase about sex, or farts, or butts. But I'm a sophisticate. So this one's all about ennui, the human condition, and my sweet, salty nuts.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 217 views
  6.  

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. But Humpty Dumpty had a pre-existing condition, so now he's just a fucking broken egg.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 251 views
  7.  

    Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean. But no matter what Jack ate he'd drink and get mean.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 212 views
  8.  

    tickledy tuck, pickledy puck, I can think of some bitches I'd like to have spayed.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 220 views
  9.  

    Spring is in the air, the days are getting longer, I went to high school with Matt Braunger.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 221 views
  10.  

    Ideal catchphrase length is sixteen syllables. Time for me to say...

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 214 views
  11.  

    Roses are red, violets are red too. Everything's red when my forehead's bleeding.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 232 views
  12.  

    I'm hungry for a tangelo, that tasty, clumsy portmanteau.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 2 replies
    • 426 views
  13.  

    It's been a while...since My Wife...left me. So I made a replacement out of beeswax and silence. And that has made all the difference.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 259 views
  14.  

    My girlfriend said, "I'm breaking up with you because you're immature." I said, "Are you on your period?"

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 287 views
  15.  

    When I do a little dance without wearing any pants, I'm taking a big chance that your sister Nance isn't sitting in the living room with her bible study group. Sorry Nance.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 239 views
  16.  

    I resolve to re-solve any problems I solved poorly last year. If this fails, next year I'll re-resolve to re-re-solve the problems even better.

    By Schadenfreude's Dead Cat, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 251 views
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