Burritofeet

If your Joel Mchale talks for more than 5 hours consult your doctor about euthanasia.

My wife and I wrote a poem about Jason Alexander. It was a co-stanza

Why don't you cry me a liver?! I need a transplant and don't have insurance.

Slide to the left, slide to the right, rip off your skin with all your might

Neither Rain, nor sleet, nor skeet from beaten meat makes jack a dull boy

The myth of the killer clown was propagated on the coattails of stranger danger and the satanic panic. You are more likely to be struck by lightning than be murdered by a clown. With that said, now will you get in my trunk?! *honk honk*

Good news! My dad told me he loves Gonzo. Bad News! He wasn’t talking about the muppets

I like my music like I like my ladies: bare-naked

The real pandemic was the friends who gave us COVID along the way

I'm watching Anthony Andersen high and I ain't gonna lie, he's starting to look like a snack-ish

1 out of 10 dentists recommend you SHOULD bite off more than you can chew

Gotta fuck up, gotta get fucked Gotta get home before the moanin' cumz

If a Basquiat goes to auction and there isn't anyone to watch Lars Ulrich get drunk does it actually get sold?

Armie Hammer don’t hurt em’

U.S. Army in the streets, Armie Hammer in the sheets

An insurrection is done by an insurgency said the incestuous surgeon inconspicuously

Give a man a fist and you fist him for a day; teach a man to fist and you fist him for a lifetime.

Fuck Nazis

I was vacuuming my apartment when I had a great idea. It turned out to be a pro-lapse in judgement.

I'm not pro-lapse, but I respect a persons right to choose

David Byrne yearns for a squirming worm urn, while Laura Dern makes another confusing David Lynch film

A Gygax climax is an Orcgasm

Time is an illusion and existence is a prison. Happy birthday Grandma!

Glove is patient, glove is kind. It does not fit, you must acquit.

Once, twice, three times a four -- that's twelve.