TommyMeTootoneDeaf

If you want good advice, don't cover your head with lice; always soak your wet phone with dry rice; and don't let the dogs out. They don't see well and might end up roadkill.

This ain't an 80s rock band, it's Hugs For Plugs. Send your theme songs to the zoo.

If I were a magician, I'd saw dogs in half, to halve more dogs.

When you're fired and at work, that's a time for fireworks.

Hey Adult Swim, bring back The Venture Brothers. I'm Scott Aukerman and that would just be something really nice of you to do.

Mirror, mirror on the wall- I don't remember installing a mirror. Help! I'm in aluminum foil and I'm baking!

Have you heard the tale of the frog and the scorpion? But you're not a scorpion, Hammer, don't hurt him.

Salute the flag or salute your shorts. It's always nice to have some loyalty. Unlike my listeners. Welcome to Doughboys.

It's a Gundam? I have no idea what anime is, but giant robots haunt my space-faring nightmares.

Duck, duck, duck, goose!? Call the zoo, their golden goose is loose and gold is falling from its caboose.

Pizza! Pizza! I'm not quoting Little Caesar's, I'm demanding pizza for my next meal.

A wop bop a loo bop a lop ba ba. I got a show named Comedy Bang! Bang! And I hope it becomes your thang thang, Tutti Frutti.

Die, die, die, my darling Princess Di, we barely knew ye.

Today, when I woke up I broke my razor; it's okay I'll make a new kind of shaver; I'm a hair-concerned trailblazer.