BrotherRabbit

‘Tis a wonderful amount of time. Tick Tock.

I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’d like to think that I’m a little cleaver.

They say you don’t know what you’ve got, ‘til it’s gone, but I’m still fairly sure I’ve got a rash.

What happens in Vader, Space Invader

They rally round the family. With a pocket full of Shells & Cheese.

Dear word “Crispy”, “Crisp” means the exact same thing, yet is an entire syllable shorter. Tell your CIA Big Consonant agenda that “Y” ain’t no vowel and it never will be!

Here is the Church. Here is the Steeple. Soylent Green is made of people.

I scream You scream We all scream From chainsaw wounds

Sometimes I worry that The Rhythm IS gonna get me!

Just because you’ve had a kid, doesn’t automatically make you an expert on parenting. If anything, it makes you someone that’s careless with jizm.

Procrastination is a dish best served some other time.

My favorite Blues Clues episode is the one when they solve the murder using DNA from the killer's semen. SPOILER ALERT: It was Steve

I bet clown funerals are hilarious. Tiny hearses, squirting flowers, etc. ...too bad they all go to Hell.

Kids of Fact Haters are called Fact Hater Tots.

The reason you haven’t seen Richard Simmons in a while is because now, he’s actually Pauly Shore.

Beyoncé was created from one of Oprah's ribs.

It's probably about time to go find myself a new girlfriend. This one has holes in it.

You say "Bug Spray" & I say "Insect Repellent" Let's call the whole thing "Off"

....When you saw only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that Jesus was riding a hoverboard.

If Nixon was on the Hundred Dillar Bill, rappers would say “It’s all about the Dicks!”

It’s impossible to throw gang signs while wearing oven mitts. Which is probably why rappers are always dropping it like it’s hot.

Just stole a Capri-Sun from my ex-wife’s refrigerator. It was liberating. Still…not equivalent to that time she took my house.

I never see missing kids on milk cartons anymore. Guess we found them all. Good work, gang!

There’s a Communist Party in my pants and everyone is equally invited.

Some people say I’m a Dreamer. While other, more intelligent people, say I’m a “Narcoleptic”.