Kevinpalooza

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Attention... this is Vice Principal ‘Rapping’ Scott Aukerman…...All you whack motherfuckers in Ms. Johnson’s 2nd grade class better stop, drop & roooollllllllllll, cuz a fire drill just shat itself all over your buster asses.

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No name shout out but, nonetheless, this'll put off my eventual bridge jump by at least 3 weeks.

There appears to be a disconnect between how much fresh Maine lobster you want to sell me for $2 and how much blood I spilled at your family’s crime scene last week.

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Every Wednesday and Friday from noon to 3

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Gravel and lightning bolt bisque. It's not for the meek.

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Whenever I have doubts and wonder what this life is all about, I think to what my old Pappy Aukerman from the South used to say: "I don't go nowhere, sheriff!"

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Here here...or hear hear.

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I'm looking forward to 2017 when Morrissey, Quentin Tarantino and Susan Boyle finally merge into a triple-threat megabeast. I'm saying the three of them look frighteningly alike.