Quasar Sniffer

If you love Cobra or love to hate Cobra, this movie is for you. Pure trashy nonsense, and racist to boot! A feast for anyone looking for tired Asian jokes disguised as witty banter.

This also irks me. Saying "quote unquote" is really only used when quoting one word, as in, "Podcasters say Earwolf forum user Elitist Prick is a, quote unquote, 'asshole.'"

I'm particularly fond of how the plight of the urban poor in the third world is highlighted as the characters struggle to pay for gas and food amidst price fluctuations... in a movie franchise about cars that cost in the hundreds of thousands of dollars and boast gas mileage of about 2 miles per gallon.

It kind of makes me sad that 'Rescue Dawn' is such an obscure movie that the Sklars had never heard of it. Maybe they were, like Christian Bale at the time, brand new dads and so were just not aware of it at the time? My barometer for how popular or well-know pop-culture stuff is has always been pretty inaccurate, so if anyone here is interested, 'Rescue Dawn' is indeed a pretty great movie. The documentary about the true story behind the escape, 'Little Dieter Needs to Fly' (also directed by Herzog), is also excellent. So yeah, if you saw 'Grizzly Man' or any of Herzog's other documentaries and enjoyed them, definitely check out 'Little Dieter.' If you are a fan of Christian Bale or survival movies in general, definitely check out 'Rescue Dawn.' I recommend both.

You guys, the conspiracy here is OBVIOUSLY a podcast rivalry between Sklarbro Country and HDTGM, since Mark Wahlberg makes his weekly calls to the latter, the Sklars are pulling their twin strings to prevent anyone at Earworlf from rustling any of Marky Mark's well-oiled pectoral feathers.

I enjoyed the ever-loving fuck out of this movie, but some things about it did annoy me; the ridiculous, global-scale stakes and the runway length being the most prominent examples. They just seemed really lazy, easily fixed problems to me. Like, that whole highway chase scene where Dom flies with Letty to land on a car for safety (also kind of annoying) could have been in the direction of Bonneville Salt Flats or something (it's vaguely in the Southwest, so why not?). You wouldn't even need a runway and the plane could do all sorts of jukes and jives along your 100 mile takeoff path. Plus, it'd be a more visually appealing setting than just a strip of asphalt. Also, I'm sorry guys, but Ludacris and Tyrese are almost as fucking useless garbage as Mia (she's basically Princess Toadstool; just there to need to get rescued). Anyway, as someone as douchey and elitist as I am to actually enjoy this movie, even with Vin Diesel landing on a car windshield like it was a safety airbag, is just more evidence to how fucking great it actually is. I walked out of this thing with the mental boner of a 14-year-old adolescent and I loved it. Justin Lin made me LIKE a movie with Ludacris in it. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!? P.S. I am in love with the Rock. IN. LOVE.

I'm with Mr. Fogelnest on the whole "GIF" pronunciation thing. If the inventor of the Graphics Interchange Format wanted the acronym "gif" pronounced like a certain brand of peanut butter, he should have spelled it with a "J."

I just kind of want to emphasize my Rage/White Liberal Guilt at viewing that crazy Afro Sheen commercial. I've read Frederick Douglass' autobiography, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave, and it's basically this narrative of how Douglass freed himself by punching injustice in the fucking face. He rebels, teaches himself how to read, has these epic fistfights with slave overseers, swims his way to freedom, and does these action hero antics, all narrated in this incredibly erudite voice that lends this sense of insanity the slave system, showing how ridiculous it was. Like, if somebody so simultaneously EPIC enough to physically dominate his "owners" with his fists and narrate that account with such poetry, why would any sane person keep that person in bondage?* Sure, some of it may be exaggerated, but it's still an incredible story. For THAT guy, with that tough-as-nails visage, to be usurped in order to sell hair products (especially considering his equally iconic hairstyle), seems really fucking gross. *I realize that seems kind of.... obvious now, but the book was written in 1845, a time when millions of Americans thought slavery was pretty ok.

Let me just say that Seth Grahame-Smith is a piece of shit author and everything he touches is terrible. Fuck him, his vampire hunters, his 'Pride and Prejudice and Zomibes' (currently in Development Hell) and all the rip-offs such crap spawned. I love zombies, vampires, history, Jane Austen, and Lincoln. Grahame-Smith combined all of that stuff in his books and managed to make all of them uninteresting and boring. So... I don't know about this movie, I skipped it.

Let's get a Kickstarter going to get Mel Gibson to play, I dunno, Thurgood Marshall just so we can have such a movie to discuss on an episode of this podcast.

For my own selfish benefit, I would just like to re-endorse the madness that this movie so wholeheartedly embodies and embraces.

Dennis Quaid's career is more of a mixed bag than a 10 pound sack of trail mix, and this is one of the... I don't even know, but it's an example, to be sure. I enjoy this movie a whole bunch and would never call it "bad," but any movie that involves pregnant aliens and possible off-screen extraterrestrial lovemaking is surely appropriate for this podcast.

Pretty much. Though, I think Matt Dillon's character might be the only interesting part of this movie; he commits some unforgivable acts, but at least he's worth watching in a movie. Those not-terrible things might or might not make up for the terrible things, but his nature is defined purely be one or the other.... like all the other characters. In any case, this movie is a piece of shit and might very well be the worst Best Picture winner. I could definitely listen to an hour of A+ comedians making fun of it.

This is a movie in which a character knows how to play "Walk Away, Renee" by the Left Banke (or the version done by The Four Tops) on the motherfucking piano, but doesn't know what Sly and the Family Stone is. It might be a comparatively minor detail, but it's just an example of how this movie is willing to tell both it's audience and logic to go fuck themselves. It is not concerned with such minor issues such as making sense or being enjoyed.

Ah, thank you. I shall have to re-check in a few days, then.

I'm conflicted. Anything starring Jake Busey is automatically possible fodder for this podcast. On the other hand, anything released by Asylum is basically made with the attitude, "hey, here is a piece of cheaply made shit." How did this get made? Because Asylum makes movies that are a combination of terrible CGI and stale ideas because they can do so for five dollars. Because of this, I kind of feel like there should be a ban on movies from said company.

Sike! He was actually talking about Psyche, the Marvel Comics character also know as Mirage (born Danielle "Dani" Moonstar). #DeepCut

Is this going to be posted anywhere else at any point? It doesn't seem to be in the Earwolf channel. I just wasn't able to watch it live.

In addition to the complimentary words other people have said, I just think the 'History of Punk' sketch is the perfect comedic response to the death of Margaret Thatcher. She was this incredibly influential and powerful figure, but she also alienated a ton of people and still remains controversial. So, not only does the sketch play on the fact that so many hated her fucking guts (the very source for a lot of great English punk), it also shows someone with deep affection for her. On top of all of that, there's some stellar perfomances and pitch-perfect music. An astounding victory on all fronts, and it's great to hear Fred Armisen talk about it.

Behold! Wondrous 1990s action movie garbage Conan ripoff (though, to be fair, Kull is another character created by Robert E. Howard). It is an ACTION MOVIE with Harvey Fierstein, where HARVEY FIERSTEIN utters the line, "What? No women?!?! Kull, have you got a problem?" Kevin Sorbo, star of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, a show that had about a dozen fight scenes an episode, is helped through his action/fight scenes by being under a mask (to allow for easy stuntman substitutions) and gratuitous sword-swinging slow motion (to make the choreography easier to sell). However, he does fuck Tia Carrere so good that, instead of killing him when she has the chance, she decides to keep him alive to try and make him her consort in her Evil Hell Kingdom. Remember when movies tried to make Tia Carrere famous? Good times. ALSO STARRING: Litefoot, whose IMDB page bills him as "Native American Actor, Rap Artist and Entrepreneur." Music by Joel (not Jerry) Goldsmith, whose score sounds like the unused guitar tracks from a Disturbed album. Produced by Raffaella (not Dino) Laurentiis, who was able to provide ample mullet wigs in exchange for a budget. Special effects by ACADEMDY AWARD WINNER and effects supervisor of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, Kit West. My Favorite Conan Ripoff Moment: When our hero is covered in camel bodily fluids for comedic effect.

Yes! Internet victory achieved!

So, who is at Jorel's killer Bar Mitzvah right now? Anybody? I bet that kid is totally getting laid at the very moment I type this... or reading the Haftarah, you know, depending on the schedule and everything.

I'm going to re-resurrect this thread to point out that Rifftrax recently recognized the insanity of this movie. Observe here: http://www.rifftrax.com/vod/apple Also, thank you for making me aware of this movie. Just the trailer fascinates me; it looks like a combination of Xanadu, Phantom of the Paradise, and terrible, insane ideas. Excellent.

I feel like Lyonne, especially with that wonderful voice of hers, is like a character from Ronna & Beverly's universe; kind of like the charmingly edgy niece at a family gathering who might ruffle some overly conservative feathers, but ultimately brings nothing but good times. I'm weird. Anyway, it made for an amazing podcast, to be sure. When it comes to Heavy Metal Parking Lot, I first saw it in high school and always thought that if one were to go to any stadium concert, film all day, and edit it into 17 minutes of the most egregious examples of douchey, bro behavior, you'll have a pretty laughable 17 minutes. You could probably get an equally laughable collection of characters outside of a Justin Bieber or Rihanna concert, just of a different sort. All humans get pretty gross in large numbers, is what I'm saying. Anyway, I know I Tweeted the Karma Chameleon telephone before to Mr. Fogelnest (@QuasarSniffer on the Tweetspace). Is that where you came across this video or were you already aware of it? Just curious.

+10 points to Rory McDuckula for the classiest design so far.