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Quasar Sniffer

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Posts posted by Quasar Sniffer

  2. Posted

    I don't understand listening at increased speed. I mean, I get it for a technical podcast or assigned reading for work or school or something, but for me, I'd rather actually hear the comedic or narrative flow at the intended pace. If listening to a certain number of podcasts necessitates me lessening the quality of the experience, then I'd rather listen to less podcasts, or at least change my listening habits.

  3. Posted

    Yeah, I think the previously mentioned materials make this movie even more baffling. It's a compelling character that has been in some highly regarded books, been adapted into great comics by one of my favorite comic book writers, and was earlier adapted into Point Blank, which is an amazing film; a dark and misanthropic one, but a great one. As much fun as a Statham movie can be, Lee Marvin can do more with a single stare than Statham can in an entire fight sequence.

  4. Posted

    This is a movie in which Jason Statham plays Jason Statham and does Jason Stathamy things against Bad Guys, but it sports a cast that includes Nick Nolte, 'The Shield's' Michael Chiklis, 'Boardwalk Empire' and 'The Station Agent's' Bobby Cannavale, 'The Wire's' Wendell Pierce, and Tony Award Winner Patti LuPone. It's also directed and produced by Taylor Hackford, by the guy behind 'The Devil's Advocate' and 'Ray.'

     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgYaiLcByRo

     

    Oh yeah, and Jennifer Lopez is a real estate agent. Fucking... what?

  6. Posted

    I want to know if whatever bizarro black magic contained in the harmonica is conditioned on the season. So, if Jack Frost hadn't died around Christmas, could he have come back as a giant turkey for Thanksgiving? A leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day? A bucket of fireworks for the Fourth of July?

     

    Maybe he ONLY came back as a snowman because Jack Frost is a winter-associated name. Could he have been resurrected as another mythical mascot if he changed his named? Perhaps go with the last name "Forest" and come back as Smokey the Bear? Would being named "John Milton" result in him returning as Al Pacino's character in The Devil's Advocate?

    • Like 2

  7. Posted

    I forced my parents to take me to see at least one of these movies in theaters and even owned one on VHS. My parents know true sacrifice when it comes to their offspring. For their sake, fucking rip this movie a new one and expose how much of a dumb-dumb I was as a child.

    • Haha 1

  8. Posted

    The supermarket I work in got in non-big name brand TVs for a Christmas sale and one of the managers went next door to buy a movie to put on to show the clarity of the screen.

     

    They got "Deck the Halls."

     

    Therefore, the movie ran constantly in the store for the entire month, usually on mute but near the end (when only two or three TVs were left) someone turned up the volume and no one ever turned it back down.

     

    The DVD is now sitting upstairs in the Manager's office. I constantly fear the arrival of more 'deal' televisions.

    This post is proof that they have the internet in Hell... or at least sales on non-brand TVs.

  10. Posted

    I have these two jokes for you: If Kony was a dog, he'd be Boney...because dogs like bones. If Kony was a dog, he'd be Coney...so he doesn't chew on his stitches.

     

    If we were on Kony Island, could we purchase these dogs at Nathan's then ride roller coasters? ...Or would our genitals be mutilated with machetes? COME ON GUYS, African civil war and child soldier jokes!

     

    Anyway, Jake Fogelnest and his podcast are so powerful that Damien Fahey, a man who has made television with Jesse Camp, was made bewildered by the various Files discussed. Magic.

  13. Posted

    Actually, I'd prefer the guest to be 1980s Henry Rollins just to see the reaction of the guy who did vocals on songs like "My War" and "Depression" seeing himself in a Christmas movie about a snowman and starring the guy from Beetlejuice.

     

    I would also gladly take present-day Rollins. He is a veteran of terrible movies.

  15. Posted

    I appreciate the mention, Ryan Sz.

     

    I still think this movie is just too much and could have easily been 30 minutes shorter. It felt like every scene was a $150 million improv bit that went on too long and would have been exceptionally hilarious if it were just edited more... aggressively. Still, there is so much insanity and excess in the film that it could easily turn into a 90 minute HDTGM episode. Maybe have multiple guests to keep the lunatic energy flowing?

     

    In any case, Matthew McConaughey is my favorite. "Do you jerk off?"

  17. Posted

    Yeah, 'American Hustle' had a lot of accents and stupid hair, but 'Wolf of Wall Street' is a 3-hour, 1980s-set 'Caligula' directed by the guy who brought us 'Goodfellas' and 'Raging Bull.' Tell me the fuck.

     

    Speaking of 'Wolf of Wall Street,' did that movie feel like a series of Comedy Bang Bang bits to anyone else? I felt like the characters were the kind of... people that would take advantage of Scott Aukerman's "open door policy."

  18. Posted

    I remember having to watch this shitty thing in high school, the after school special style really didn't help its cause.

    Same here. What a bizarre consensus American schools seemed to have with showing their students garbage.

     

    "We should show the kids a movie about slavery. Roots? No way! Let's play this terrible time travel thing because that is educational! It has rap in it, the kids will relate. "

  19. Posted

    To be fair, 'Tropic Thunder' (I assume you're referring to that one), was directed by Ben Stiller and is pretty great, at least I think so. As for 'Envy,' I've avoided it due to its horrific reputation, but everything I've heard makes it seem like perfect fodder for this podcast. Barry Levinson's filmography does have its fair share of unbelievable garbage to balance out movies like 'The Natural' or 'Rain Man.' 'Toys' alone is enough to convince most sane people of that.

  20. Posted

    I must agree with stillstaw's analysis. It's the same kind of mentality that made TV executives look at a series like 'Lost' and think that any serialized genre show would equal millions of viewers every week. Just because there is a continuous story and "nerd" elements does mean people will tune into 'The Cape' or 'Terra Nova.'

  22. Posted

    Since you lovely individuals enjoy The Fogelnest Files, presumably you are also users of Twitter and take some pleasure in the "weird Twitter" happenings on the social networking behemoth. As such, it seems it would be beneficial for this board and our Twitter accounts to at least make each other aware of our weird Twitter avatars. I call myself QuasarSniffer. I follow nerd celebrities and make dumb jokes. It's like real life, 140 charactes at a time. Also, stupider.

    • Like 3

  25. Posted

    Tom Hanks is perfect for the role of Walk Disney because Tom Hanks IS everything you want Tom Hanks to be. He's like the Disney version of Tom Hanks, but that's the real guy. At least that's what it seems like from every interview I've seen and read, as well as every story I've heard of him. Oh yeah, and he's outrageously talented.

     

    I feel like I'm building up to a marriage proposal in this forum post...

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