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Quasar Sniffer

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Posts posted by Quasar Sniffer

  1. Posted

    Ok, so this is a already-shot 1980s action comedy throwback that is currently in the midst of a Kickstarter campaign to cover post-production costs. It seems to be currently funded at the moment, so HUZZAH to them. It's about a Kung-Fu-fighting cop who goes back in time to kill Hitler but Vikings interrupt him or something. Anyway, watch the trailer because it is magical and ridiculous.

     

    http://www.kickstart...gfury/kung-fury

     

    This version of the film is only 30 minutes long, so it probably would be a poor choice for an actual episode, BUT the writer/director/star seems to be an interesting fellow (since he did get this made, at least for the most part) and has a charming Swedish accent, so I think he'd make an excellent guest on the show. The movie seems to be in the mode of Miami Connection, but on more restricted funds, so it'd be interesting to hear how such low-budget films get done and what makes things like Sharknado or Birdemic terrible but Miami Connection worth watching. Cross-promotional opportunities abound.

    • Like 1

  2. Posted

    Actually line of dialogue from Deck the Halls: "Come on, it's the stupidiest think I've ever heard. You want our lights to be seen from space? It's certifiable." Sure, the same character says, "all good ideas are crazy" in the very next sentence (and then threatens to withold sex if said lights are taken down), but it's like the possibility of this movie being really fucking stupid crossed the filmmakers' minds, then they said, "No, this is great stuff guys!"

  3. Posted

    An example of how the 1980s were great: Transylvania 6-500 (1985) is not the only insane sci-fi/horror sexy comedy starring Academy Award nominee Jeff Goldbum and Academy Award WINNER Geena Davis, the other being Earth Girls are Easy (1988). The Fly, it's own brand of sex/horror/sci-fi miscogenation, occurred IN BETWEEN these two films. This could not happen now. And I love all of these movies, for vastly different reasons.

     

    Transylvania 6-5000 is probably the... least good out of the three mentioned, so is probably best suited for this show.

  4. Posted

    I love Tom Snyder SO much, but everything Elitist Prick wrote is dead on and it had me laughing out loud!!!

     

    This is exactly why I love Jake and his files so much. I can shit on something he enjoys, but then is able to say that he laughed at it, which is exactly the purpose of the comment in the first place. He gets The Internet and Culture better than almost anyone alive (including me).

     

    I also love The Fogelnest Files for alerting me that Bo Burnham, a comedian I've admired for a few years, has a new special and that it is free. It is outstanding, by the way.

    • Like 3

  5. Posted

    Tom Snyder ... holy fucking shit, Tom Snyder. Look at the beginning of that Weird Al video. He's talking about how Al's first hit was a parody of "a song originally done by a band called 'the Knacks' and that song was called 'My Sharoma' " ... I mean good lord, he somehow managed to fuck up the band name AND the song title! Snyder had some amazing things on his show, but I think he was also one of the most awkward broadcasters of all time. Sometimes I wonder how he managed to get on television at all.

     

    Jake, could I request that you do an episode devoted to Snyder? Maybe have a panel of Snyder-appreciators? I know there's already some DVD compilations of Snyder musical guests and stuff, but with your curatorial instincts I bet you could come up with some interesting stuff. Just a thought ...

     

    That Weird Al performance is so great because it shows Mr. Yankovic basically tearing shit up on an accordion like he was Rob Halford or Andrew WK or something (both of whom are fantastic); just fucking ferocious. I'm dead serious. I love Weird Al forever. Tom Snyder really outs himself as a worthless pile of human garbage introducing Weird Al in that way. He's basically saying, "ok, here's a piece of shit, everybody, let's feel good about ourselves as we look down on it." Meanwhile, he can't even bring himself to know who The Knack are. He even talks in a shitty way about a woman who's going to sing a song about astronauts, as if singing about space travel is beneath real musicians (because Elton John and David Bowie are terrible or something?). Fuck him. Space is great, so is the space shuttle.

     

    Even Ed Sullivan had the show-business-good-sense and wherewithal to pretend to be enthusiastic about the musical acts on his show. He may have thought The Beatles were garbage, he may have preferred to watch Frank Gorshin's comedy routine (who performed the same night as The Beatles), but he still introduced the band like he loved the shit out of them. Who wants to watch a network TV host introduce an act he thinks is terrible?

    • Like 1

  6. Posted

    This movie is a great choice because I think Tom Cruise is actually excellent as Stacee Jaxxx and Alec Bladwin is a lot of fun as Old Drunk Club Owner Guy, but the movie itself is still FUCKING AWFUL. I also think it's interesting because it was this successful stage show that did work, was all Disney-fied and Hollywood-ized, then turned into something that didn't work. Do it.

  7. Posted

    I hope he does guest on a Rifftrax. There's been this weird off and on animus between the Joel-era people and the Mike-era people (both in the fans and in the personnel), and that also extends to the Cinematic Titanic/Rifftrax division. I guess I understand it, but it's also totally unnecessary. I love MST3K (all eras), I love Rifftrax, and I love Cinematic Titanic. Hell, I even love the Film Crew riffs Mike, Bill, and Kevin did several years ago. I guess that makes me a fanboy, but so be it. I just want harmony in my comedy world, you guys!

    • Like 1

  8. Posted

     

    Katrina Bowden is in this? I wasn't going to see it anyway, but now I'll be wondering if everybody who dies in it is just accidentally killing themselves while paranoid about her. (Seriously, though, "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil" is an underrated masterpiece.)

     

     

    I'm just here to bump this opinion because, fuck yes, Tucker and Dale is fucking great.

    • Like 2

  10. Posted

    I was just going to bump this movie, because, seriously, have you fucking seen this movie?

     

    I think 'Dreamcatcher' IS entertaining in a way, but it is not creative or unique. It's a desperate hodgepodge of ideas that somewhere, in some other venue, might have made a good movie. Throwing everything and anything at the screen does not make one creative. This is a clusterfuck. Sure, sometimes a clusterfuck can turn into a great movie (I am an unashamed lover of Francis Ford Coppola's 'Dracula,' which is wacky and all over the place), but this is not one of those times. It's like the Hudson Hawk of horror movies; it tries so many different tones but pulls off none of them successfully. I mean, it's so cliche that it even incorporates Stephen King tropes that, at this point, are tired unless utilized very skillfully (psychic kids, childhood traumas, reuniting those kids as adults as they still deal with said traumas, etc.), The movie's jokes fall flat, its tension never builds, and its scares are never frightening. But should it be seen? HELL YES!

     

    Also, another totally nutballs Stephen King horror adaptation that actually works is 'The Mist,' so it can certainly be done. All you have to do is hire Frank Darabount, I guess.

  13. Posted

    I extend my congratulations as well, but I must also say "Needs more Fogelnest Files higher than number 10." I've enjoyed pretty much every moment I've spent listening to this particular program, but the same definitely cannot be said for WTF. If the amount of podcasting joy that The Fogelnest Files has brought to my ears can be represented as a body of water, it is Lake Superior to WTF's half-filled eyedropper.

    • Like 1

  15. Posted

    I think one objective way to see how this movie just doesn't work is that there are more terrible one-lines than in the entire series run of 'The Pickup Artist.' [Note: The previous sentence is an example of how a terrible one-liner can ruin one's mood] So many of them are altered or changed due to some very obvious ADR, meaning that, at some point, people realized that this movie is supposed to be funny, was NOT funny, then very clumsy attempts were made to make it funny. I guess you could argue they succeed... but I don't see how. It is not funny.

    • Like 1

  19. Posted

    I agree with everything you're saying -- I just want to point out that Charlie has been around for decades; it's basically like the Brut of women's fragrances. It smells like your grandmother kissing you.

     

    Also, Little Richard totally stole his entire shtick from Esquerita. Well, maybe not totally, but history has unfortunately forgotten him.

     

    Me getting the origins of this perfume wrong is well worth your immaculate description of it. Good work, fine sir.

     

    Also, can SOMEONE please make a gif of William Baldwin flying through the air while shooting his pistol? Maybe of Cindy's body being tossed into into the water via her exploding house? Good fucking lord, this movie... every scene has something worth commenting on. The full podcast might be three hours long.

  20. Posted

     

    YOINKS!

     

    I never thought I'd say this but where's autotune when you need it?

    What in the fuck was the thought process behind this commercial anyway? "Oh, Cindy is a supermodel so she must be able to sing too, right? Right. Let's pair her with an elderly and cartoonishly effeminate rock star from the 1950s and call the perfume "Charlie" because that is the name of neither of them! It will appeal to women... because they love being confused."

  21. Posted

    Another fact is that Dan Hedaya had a bigger part in the original version, but was reduced to just one scene earlier in the movie, and Hedaya eventually took his name off the credits based on that result.

     

    So, at some point, a real person who is alive actually said, "this movie needs more room for William Baldwin. Let's cut Dan Hedaya's part down to make room for that"? Ugh, humanity is terrible.

  24. Posted

    Timothy Dalton might be the best part of that movie, and is pretty great in everything, and 'The Rocketeer' is definitely not terrible the way, say, 'Catowman' is. I just think it could have been a lot better, just like Joe Johnston's 'Captain America,' which has a great and enthusiastic cast (with a game Brit playing a Nazi villain). Not terrible; just very unengaging and it could have been better.

     

    As for 'The Phantom' itself, it's been a while since I've actually seen it, though I do remember some terrible things about it. I may have to re-watch it for a proper evaluation... which I will do if it does become an episode.

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