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Quasar Sniffer

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Posts posted by Quasar Sniffer

  1. Posted

    I must politely disagree. Joe Johnston has done a lot of work I don't care for, but hack? I don't think so. Keep in mind, I feel "hack" is a misused well. To me, a hack isn't just a bad or incompetent artist, but one who is cynically and artlessly just tries to make something in the lowest common denominator. No sense of self-awareness or awareness of the art as a whole and no real mastery of the art.

     

    To me, this is EXACTLY what Joe Johnston does. His movies, especially his action sequences, lack any sense of identity, visual dynamics, or, especially, fun. Everything is interchangeable with everything else and nothing seems distinctive at all, it's just two hours of... blah. His movies, with the possible exception of October Sky, all seem like feature length car commercials, with all the excitement that possibility brings. Yes, there are worse directors, and it's not like he's technically terrible the way imbecilic filmmakers like Tommy Wiseau are, but that seems worse to me. He's a guy with enough merit to land an enormous franchise like Captain America or get Benicio Del Toro and Rick Baker involved in a werewolf movie, but still manages to put something that ranges from unremarkable to sleep-inducing on screen. In short, fuck that guy.

  5. Posted

    June beings honestly nothing to the table. June's bad imitation of Bob Newhart where she is not following every thing has to be a drag everyday. Since this is a q&a, I will ask:

    .Have you ever considered getting rid of her not just on the podcast but in life for Julie Klausner?

    Who is this toolbag telling the provider of FREE podcasts to ditch his wife? This guy can't even do it with proper grammar. Are we being trolled?

    • Like 2

  6. Posted

    I agree that this movie could have been better, but I still enjoy it for what it is. It's certainly better than 'Willow,' though even comparing it to something like 'Blade Runner' seems like an exercise in futility. 'Blade Runner' is a masterpiece, 'Legend' is a pleasantly cheeseball bit of 1980s fantasy.

  7. Posted

    What is the usual timeline for the podcast? By that, I mean, when do you typically watch the films in relation to recording the minisode and the actual episode around that film? I know some shows are live, some of these movies have been seen by you and your fellow podcasters before, and some are new to you, so that might change the order, but is there a typical formula to how the episodes get made?

  8. Posted

    This movie is definitely garbage, but it is also a wasted opportunity. John Cusak is perfect casting as Hollywood-Edgar Allen Poe and I love the idea of the troubled, alcoholic, dickish, and brilliant author investigating actual murders. Plus, I have to admit I'm a sucker for this historical period. With all that said, I could barely stay awake during this.

    • Like 1

  9. Posted

    I'm really confused about Dan Aykroyd. I mean, the guy fucking wrote The Blues Brothers and Ghostbusters (GHOSTBUSTERS!), but was somehow also able to crap this stream of insane cinematic diarrhea out. I appreciate that there's probably something about his love for the bizarre and weird (which I have) that made Ghostbusters just as possible as this movie, but I just can't help but wonder what he was thinking. Maybe the combined pressure of being a first-time director, having a significant amount of screen time, and what I presume was hours of getting prosthetics and makeup applied proved too much of a distraction?

  10. Posted

     

    I think that is true of a lot of movies, as kids we watch crap and like it. My teacher friend says kids these days love the worst movies.

    Agreed, it's just that this one has Tone Loc, Leslie Nielsen as a samurai armor-wearing villain, and the reoccurring musical theme of fucking "Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys... because that's what The Kids were listening to in Southern California in the early 1990s. Hence, perfect for this podcast.

  11. Posted

    Due to unfortunate circumstances, I happened to see 2009's 'Rampage,' which was also supposed to be serious... but is also batshit insane and crazy-stupid. It thinks it says something meaningful about society or whatever, but it comes off like a hundred minutes of unfunny dead baby jokes told by an obnoxious 6th grader.

  12. Posted

    This is indeed a movie that is a messy pile of shit. As a bonus, it doesn't get the blame (credit?) for being so for some reason. Maybe because the Bryan Adams theme, "Everything I Do," inspired so much hate itself that it distracted people from the movie's awfulness? Anyway, because I feel this film's crapitude is underrated, I feel it is ripe for destroying on a podcast episode.

     

    Alan Rickman is still fun in it, though.

  13. Posted

    I had the exact same experience as June. During college this movie was playing EVERY NIGHT on the student movie channel.

     

    I always had a big issue with this movie. The whole "free will" thing has always been the cornerstone of the entire Christian Devil mythos. Not to mention its repeating a dozen times in this movie. The whole point of Satan is that he uses man's own flawed nature against him through temptation.

     

    But then you have Jeffrey Jones' character making the free will decision to testify against Pacino and...the devil kills him.

     

    Later you have Weaver trying to prosecute Pacino and...the devil kills him.

     

    Then you have Charlize trying to act as Keanu's conscious and...the devil harasses her to insanity then rapes her.

     

     

    Free will, right?

    So you're saying this movie has problems and inconsistencies with its narrative structure? ...Actually, you make a good point about one of the fundamental problems with this piece of crap. That is, nothing fucking matters. No matter what the characters do, Pacino's Satan In Pajamas is going to kill them and/or steal their souls. Go along with him? He gets what he wants. Stand up to him? You get murdered and he gets what he wants anyway. Refuse his temptations? He gets to call it vanity and, in the world of 'The Devil's Advocate,' that's the Devil's favorite sin and he gets what he wants anyway. So yeah, the movie just shat out two-and-a-half hours of pointless nonsense just so Pacino could yell in monologues and actresses could take their tops off. Fuck this movie.

  14. Posted

    It's called a Game Gear, get it right! :D

     

    Anyway, I used to watch this movie all the time as a kid; I was just the right age to like it and not realize it was terrible. Sure, now I know it to be a piece of crap, so I view it with a strange combined sense of nostalgia and unbridled hate.

  17. Posted

    I know The Devil's Advocate really isn't about the legal system, but for a movie in which so much of its action takes place in court rooms and legal offices, and whose main characters are lawyers, it really plays fast and loose with... laws. I mean, trials that would typically go on for months have opening arguments and verdicts reached in seemingly the same afternoon.

     

    I know a lot of people blame Keanu for being all Keanu, but this movie has so many other problems that keep it from being "good" good. No character is consistent, all these Biblical quotes and references are totally random and horrendously obvious, and the "twists" at the end seem pretty pointless. But if I come across it on TV, I still think to myself, "haha, THIS movie. Nice."

  22. Posted

    I think this is a case of a movie that didn't know what to do with itself. It's like a haphazard mix between a fantasy-tinged adult drama and a fable aimed at children, resulted in something that is just stupid and boring. Maybe there was a lot of screenplay notes and re-writes? Who knows?

     

    For example, there was that whole plot thread about water rationing and drought at the beginning, then it was just dropped in favor of the factory closing in the second half of the movie. Granted, neither are particularly original plots, but I guess if you're doing a fantasy or fable as a movie, you're purpose isn't to break new narrative ground anyway. Still, everything about this movie seems rather haphazard. In a children's fable, it doesn't matter where Timothy really comes from, but in an adult story it kind of does. At the same time, a children's fable should probably not be concerned with the goings-on of an adoption agency's bureaucratic maneuverings. A failure on every level.

     

    Questions:

    Why DOES the adoption agency ultimately grant these nutball "parents" another kid? Is it supposed to be another miracle or something?

    Where did this stellar cast come from and what are they doing? Fucking M. Emmet Walsh? David Morse? Rosemary Dewitt? These are heavy-hitting, outstanding character actors, given characters with nothing to do but stand around and look disapprovingly at the Handsome Leads that have both done outstanding work in other films. A special nod should go to Shohreh Aghdashloo, who seems to play cleanup hitter every time a movie is desperate for Wise/Classy Ethnic Woman.

  23. Posted

    I support 'Congo' being covered on a podcast for many-a reason...

     

    There are a couple of potential nominees for Worst Accent in this movie, but Tim Curry really takes the cake. It's straight from Stock Russian Cartoon Villain, which is even less appropriate as his character is supposed to be Romanian. Since he's done so much children's cartoon voiceover work, maybe the voice is just a holdover from one of those roles? You know, where it was appropriate?

     

    This was a weird time in Laura Linney's career when she was marketed as a sort of "Thinking Man's Sex Symbol." Oh, how enlightened we were in the 1990s, right dudes?

     

    Grant Heslov plays an expert on African apes, yet he "doesn't even like picnics." What? It's like a Computer Geek character complaining that he doesn't even use a calculator.

     

    Also, getting Andrew Ti from "Yo, Is This Racist?" as a guest would be pretty appropriate because... wow.

     

    Joe Don Baker is in this movie.

    • Like 1

  24. Posted

    I've said this before so many places that I can't remember where, so if I've said it on these boards, I apologize, but seriously... FUCK. THIS. MOVIE.

     

    Pointing out the 'Ferngully'/'Pocahontas' similarities is pretty appropriate because, while that 'Dances With Wolves'-type story is about as old as.... the written story, those two movies are animated musicals aimed at children. 'Avatar' thinks it's Serious Fucking Business. The "white man falling under the spell of the native girl and culture" thing is so sanctimonious that it makes this movie unwatchable for me.

  25. Posted

    It appears that the reach of Legal Zoom goes deeper than we realized... as they've put our friend Patton in charge of legal matters in Harlan, Kentucky.

     

    justified-timothy-olyphant-patton-oswalt.jpg

     

    Sorry, I just felt like this forum could use a thread not specifically addressing a particular episode... even if it is frivolous and dumb.

     

    Speaking of Patton Oswalt, wasn't he great in 'Young Adult'? So God damn good. Incredibly underrated as an actor.

    • Like 1
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