ChaseRoper

Like dominating my twitter feed? RT: @TheTonyClifton I will now allow you people to tell me how much I've touched your tiny little lives.

Getting ready to celebrate my niece's 2nd bday. Rocking out to @Tmbg in the car with the kids. #Apollo18

Produced by New Wave Entertainment. Airs Saturday 6/23 11:30pm / 10:30C - CC:Stand-Up: The Bonnaroo http://t.co/XMSRo0Mx

My 6yo woke me up. Puked and went back to sleep. So that's 2 kids down. Soon it will be me. My time is running out. . .

My son wants to know whether or not I'm going to be alive when he is a grown up. Good morning!

just put ground cinnamon in my coffee that turned out to be ground cumin. These are very different.

A funny memoir from a real life Stay at Home Dad? That dad is me? I have a book? It's only 99 cents!? http://t.co/EpIIoVX3

Not sure if your child's ADHD med is working? Forget to fill the Rx for 2 days watch the ensuing chaos unravel. #DadFail

.@MC3Monti Just microwaved hot dogs for my kids' dinner. How do I get on Master Chef?

Aja Blanc enlightens me on natural treatments for colds & the connection between women and the moon on today's episode! http://t.co/Bi72uzGZ

I need to locate a coffee place in the South Puget Sound area that would be willing to provide free coffee for a large event I'll be at. FREE ADVERTISEMENT opportunity. Anybody have some favs I should call tomorrow?

I want to see someone on #PawnStars walk in with a small gold watch and deliver Christopher Walken's Pulp Fiction monologue.

Photo: Ice coffee out of a wine glass. Feels classy. (Taken with Instagram) http://t.co/weitFHIL

Photo: these awesome balloons lasted 20min. http://t.co/g37gSYUB

Photo: Taken with Instagram http://t.co/ixgiMS9p

That concludes #natureshots.

.@rachael_ray I just ate some nettles I found outside. Now my mouth is in agony.

Mitt Romney belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Holdings Inc.

Capitalizing on recent popularity, I'm working on some iCarly fan fiction called "70 Shades of Monotone."

I want to see someone on Pawn Stars on History walk in with a small gold watch and deliver Christopher Walken's Pulp Fiction monologue.

25 min jog! http://t.co/A9kM33rS

"Go fuck yourself, Quinoa." - Rice

I'm NOT supposed to do this? RT @NancyGraceHLN: Man arrested for doing yard work in the nude #MugOfTheDay http://t.co/AbjGnzbc

Photo: Trying to break into the calendar industry. (Taken with Instagram) http://t.co/VQyyb7QL

My little girl is throwing up which is heart breaking because that means in a couple days, I'M going to be throwing up. #wphumor