ChaseRoper

Photo: Thanks for the excruciating food poisoning! I’ll be back in about NEVER EVER. (Taken with Instagram) http://t.co/mToI7ulY

Had a fantastic date night with @misses roper!

Dear pharmacies, I'm asking if you can get me the good sudafed, for an actual cold. Not for my rolling meth lab. #MethylamineIsBetterAnyways

So @Kanyewest is singing Golddigger because of @KimKardashian, right?

So. . . You mean milkshakes then? http://t.co/LzaISWdq

#ff these folks who on right now: @BeTheBoy @amyschumer @elibraden @debenham and @tabgirl

I may or may now have booked Andy Kindler for an upcoming episode. (I did) so subscribe to the show so you don't miss out!

Dear School Buses, SHOW UP WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.

“@eccalkins: @ChaseRoper I've seriously considered melting down candy corn and drinking it. . .” You disgust me.

Note to self. Don't forget to try and book @brianpoesehn for the podcast.

Ladies - Enough with the owls on everything. Owls aren't cute. They eat mice and poop out of their mouths.

earwolf: Love, Dad: ObservingThe dads are here to remind you to keep your eyes peeled on this week’s Love, D… http://t.co/98ERYRFX

Every single one of my kids are at school right now. At the same time. Life is changing and I need my security blanket.

Not Without My Dayghter - I can’t sleep. My 5yo starts kindergarten tomorrow. I feel as though my whole life... http://t.co/00VjjFNZ

Cine: My never ending cup of coffee. http://t.co/XyaggQB8 #Coffee #stay-at-home-dad

Overheard: BOY1: Swiss Army is the best company is the world. BOY2: Really? BOY1: yeah, their Swiss army knife is bullet proof!

My daughter looks like a mini @JenKirkman. Yeah?

Overheard: Behind the scenes at Safeway Artisan Soup Kitchen - Soup Chef 1: What should we put in this... http://t.co/mNaGNHky

Cine: Never. Stops. Talking. http://t.co/1NpKA6TH

I am about to take my 3 kids to their open house at school in 3 separate classrooms - by MYSELF. It was an honor k…

Ep40 Help! I need to figure how to be more manly so my kids don't laugh at me… http://t.co/VyN7iwHc

I'm in love with @MissesRoper.

You guys are all following my extreme awesome wife @MissesRoper right? RIGHT?

Cinemagram is creepy! http://t.co/N4seRCnc

Guy in line complaint that the bank is stl closed. I have bad news for you guy. #LaborDay