ChaseRoper

My @Klout score went up 2 points. I am a GOD AMONG MEN!

If I was Hitler, I'd have been working on a time machine so I could go back and make sure no one ever builds any time machines.

.@MC3Monti Just microwaved hot dogs for my kids' dinner. How do I get on Master Chef?

This guy needs our help! Http://www.savewalterwhite.com

This Mr. Lid commercial is bonkers.

Autism initiated a sneak attack in the Roper house early this morning. FRUSTRATION.

IS BREAKING BAD ON YET

"You won't like me when I miss Judge Wapner." - Autistic Bruce Banner

Grab my humorous ebook PLUS the entire back catalog of The Stay at Home Dadcast for $5. Please check it out and share! http://t.co/ZElxTvfc

My little girl is throwing up which is heart breaking because that means in a couple days, I'M going to be throwing up. #wphumor

Photo: Trying to break into the calendar industry. (Taken with Instagram) http://t.co/VQyyb7QL

I'm NOT supposed to do this? RT @NancyGraceHLN: Man arrested for doing yard work in the nude #MugOfTheDay http://t.co/AbjGnzbc

"Go fuck yourself, Quinoa." - Rice

25 min jog! http://t.co/A9kM33rS

I want to see someone on Pawn Stars on History walk in with a small gold watch and deliver Christopher Walken's Pulp Fiction monologue.

Capitalizing on recent popularity, I'm working on some iCarly fan fiction called "70 Shades of Monotone."

Mitt Romney belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Holdings Inc.

.@rachael_ray I just ate some nettles I found outside. Now my mouth is in agony.

That concludes #natureshots.

Photo: Taken with Instagram http://t.co/ixgiMS9p

Photo: these awesome balloons lasted 20min. http://t.co/g37gSYUB

Photo: Ice coffee out of a wine glass. Feels classy. (Taken with Instagram) http://t.co/weitFHIL

I want to see someone on #PawnStars walk in with a small gold watch and deliver Christopher Walken's Pulp Fiction monologue.

I need to locate a coffee place in the South Puget Sound area that would be willing to provide free coffee for a large event I'll be at. FREE ADVERTISEMENT opportunity. Anybody have some favs I should call tomorrow?

Aja Blanc enlightens me on natural treatments for colds & the connection between women and the moon on today's episode! http://t.co/Bi72uzGZ