ChaseRoper

This teacher is telling Max not to dream much? The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl is totally implausible.

Going to stage a fake lice inspection on 13yo tonight. A fake positive will result in him getting his hair cut immediately. Good #parenting?

A great big Happy Birthday going out to my niece Shayla from your Uncle Chase! Hope it's an awesome day!

Has anyone written a sketch where a person watches his storage unit get auctioned off on #StorageWars! (cc: @jeffbumgarner1)

How to Survive Summer Break as a Stay at Home Dad (or how not to): http://t.co/mcPiV2AC

Things got nice an awkward on the @GWFPodcast today. Great listen w/ @Jason23Nash @JeffBumgarner1 @calamitypete and @Apey

Going to check out Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" but in my mind will replace instances of "smoking" with "internet porn."

"we love you! DONT HIT US!" - girls everywhere. RT @chrisbrown: I'm on 106 tomorrow! Dropping off a new video!!!! Love you teambreezy!

There's a real possibility that I'll spend all day watching Say Yes to the Dress.

.@Paula_Deen pretty poor over here. Probs going with a soup for Sunday dinner. Either fish head or old shoe.

I have decided that from now on, Christopher Lee shall be known Count Wonkuman (@dougbenson) http://t.co/wPv3zpVZ

If you watched Comedy Bang Bang last night - Atta Boy! If not. . . TSK TSK.

This is the only alcohol in my house. Sad state of affairs indeed. http://t.co/iBcigR6E

Here's a fun game! Scroll through the #CBBtv hash tag and try to guess which questions @ScottAukerman is answering. Fun combinations!

I hope you are all following @IamComicMovie. Do it.

Today I was going to call and record heated conversations with the Phelps’ from Westboro Baptist Church but... http://t.co/PUbLUyJp

A lot of my day is spent telling my kids they just ate.

Baaa Baaa was always the black sheep of the family. . . sorry guys.

Sure, I have a new podcast ep coming up today, but you should also check out Janie and Aaron Does Hollywood w/ @JanieHaddad & @DrLawyercop!

You should try podcasting. RT @jessicacabot: . . .it was nicer when I had no followers because I'm most comfortable with meaningless voids.

It's the time of year when Dish Network says it's going to drop all of its best channels. Instead of calling to beg, just go DirecTV.

Stay at Home Dad Tip: Hot Cups http://t.co/YOTO8tpL

Todd Barry shares some of his earliest memories of seeing live stand-up comedy. Audio: http://t.co/6BuqVu2W

God damn all you Mad Men spoiling assholes. I'm unfollowing all of you.

This game is kind of fun. If you like yahtzee. Whatever. http://t.co/OsqQ6t3r