ChaseRoper

“@davethemogul: Where do you watch #StorageWars from? Post your city, state or country with a #YUUUP!” A self dug shallow grave. #pills

.@lisctqx97 @musicextras just put a dress on a punching bag and let @chrisbrown go to town. You can have that slogan too. #teambreezy

.@Askagreatdad it's not just a concert. She watches her videos on YouTube! She even put feathers in her hair! She LOVES @keshasuxxx!

Did you miss yesterday's episode of The Stay at Home Dad Cast with @ScottAukerman? Well, here it is! (also on itunes) http://t.co/NAL5xDUj

I'm buying like 50 of these and taking over the world and nobody can stop me! http://t.co/zMMnmSjH

The 2 gas stations I've stopped at this morning are out of regular unleaded. I'm on "E". It's like my own personal Hurricane Sandy.

Anybody else playing Black Ops 2 on PS3 right now? I'm username: chaseblogger. #gamer #nerd

Triple Grande Egg Nog latte with pumpkin spice - GET IN ME.

Anonymous asked: Will you explain to me how you justify completely ignoring my experience as a woman while... http://t.co/Ael6NmOv

I hate the Internet today. http://t.co/e14vMoSQ

Photo: Making Christmas treats! (We’re making sister make the most of them because, you know - SHE’S A GIRL) http://t.co/NpsfgeoG

Photo: Take note everybody. How to treat a lady. (at Target) http://t.co/CegYpBR1

Love this: Mad Men Theme Song - Adam Ben Ezra Live! http://t.co/TgL11Uub

How many podcast seasons do you need in order to reach podcast syndication?

Photo: #nature http://t.co/GoXIyjV3

I'm at Target in my sweat pants. Pretty much just living the dream.

No dead body guys. Just a beater of a car with a breath-a-lizer installed. Opened the door, the device said "blow". What an asshole car.

Dear Every Retailer, I'M NEVER GOING TO TAKE THE SURVEY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DANGLE IN FRONT OF ME OR HOW LONG YOU MAKE THAT RECIEPT.

Remember that car horn I mentioned very early this morning? Yeah, well its still fucking going!

Sometimes just HOLDING a hot cup of coffee makes me feel as though the day is going to turn out ok.

Comedy bookers: seriously, lets step it up. Book me for everything without me taking any formal steps what so ever. I'll be refreshing my LinkedIn inbox the rest of the evening.

Photo: My @nerdist player card for Black Ops 2. Thinking up a new one. http://t.co/N7EW6pOz

My new heckler come back: I don't go to your work and be rude because I don't get out of the house very often.

Photo: My little man face planted the cement today - HARD. Can you believe he’s smiling?? http://t.co/wr66mmBE

John Lennon wrote terrible Christmas music.