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ChaseRoper

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Status Updates posted by ChaseRoper

  1. "there's too many races to hate. Let's just hate everyone who wears hoodies." - The KKK just before they kill themselves. <-- ideal world.

  2. Video: dustinmartian: This was just too awesome not to share. http://t.co/jc2LRzYs

  3. If you've ever wondered if you should kill yourself, I have great news. The Walmart credit application is the perfect litmus test.

  4. Just ordered a red bill Italian sodA instead of coffee. What's happening to me?!

  5. I have had to click through 4 different "Contact Us" sub-domains so far in my search to find Verizon's phone number. #annoyed

  6. Photo: liezlwashere: There are some adults I know who should give up Tumblr in favor of books too. http://t.co/MOXSjd95

  7. Don't worry guys, I warned Zuck about the hoodie situation. http://t.co/QHjP78dp

  8. Goldilocks was an entitled spoiled little brat who should have been eaten by those bears.

  9. I just can't think up a good etch-a-sketch tweet. [pours sand into laptop, closes it and shakes]

  10. These yogurt covered raisins would be better if the yogurt was chocolate and the raisins were gone.

  11. 12yo wasn't thrilled with me replacing all his Disturned, Slayer, Megadeath with @TMBG. Until today when he's singing along to Dinner Bell.

  12. Help this guy buy kickstarter. RT @shahruz_: FUND THIS. http://t.co/hVOqFiPI

  13. Just rubbed hand sanitizer on an open cut. If you need me, I'll be fighting off the urge to kill myself to escape the pain.

  14. RT and Fav if you get pretty depressed and start hating Twitter after going a couple days without getting any RT's or Fav's.

  15. Just called a place that my biological father supposedly worked at. He's got other kids & a wife. Also, turns out he's dead. Weird day!

  16. Terremoto en México! Oh, Dios mío! Eso es un montón de bibliotecas temblor!

  17. Sometimes, wives don't want you to sext them while their at work.

  18. $98 seems a bit much for an Easter dress but it's the minimum price for any dress my 4yo is interested in.: http://t.co/uHWVksf8

  19. Besides duct tape & a closet? “@Todaysparent: Does your child have "interruptitis"? Find out how to deal with it - http://t.co/LMvbnpin”

  20. Searching obituaries for my biological father whom I've never met and who's last name I can't spell. Yeah, it's going to be that kind of day

  21. You can't *let* your boy w/ Aspergers beat you at Sorry. He will question every *bad* move you make.

  22. It's snowing?! I'm pretty sure Mother Nature is hung over.

  23. What's the word for when you wipe but the toilet paper tears and you end up with feces on your hand? Asking for my grossly specific friend.

  24. Kids asked what St Patrick's Day is for. Untold them he was a slave that eventually converted pagans in Ireland to Catholics. Then later, he beat a bunch of snakes with a stick. So now we wear green or else you get pinched.

  25. What if Jason Russell is Kobayishi and Joseph Kony is Kaiser Soze?

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