ChaseRoper

I've got just 26 MIN LEFT with $290 of my $550 goal! If it's in your heart pledge to support The Stay at Home Dadcast. http://t.co/manUufP6

As a Christian I want everyone who follows me to know- when scripture seems outdated/contradictory. I will always err on the side of LOVE.

Good morning early risers!! Head on over to iTunes for the latest Stay at Home Dadcast! I talk with John Ross Bowie (Big Bang Theory, Glee). Great episode!

Hey early birds! Head over to iTunes and get the latest Stay at Home Dadcast. I have a chat with John Ross Bowie!

Welcome new followers! Not sure how you got here but I'm going to cherish you and count you and obsess over you daily! Where's er'body go?

If I don't get a zillion favs on that last tweet, you guys are all horrible disappointments. #OverlyPleasedWithMyself

Not Another Teen Movie is on. Everyone who isn't Captain America can sleep easy. You'll get a residual check!

My checks keep writing "stop using me" on themselves.

If you've ever wondered if you should kill yourself, I have great news. The Walmart credit application is the perfect litmus test.

Muy con pollo! RT @EmmaKat: Finally got to meet @kristenschaaled in person, and she even taught me some Spanish! #sxsw

How have I not written like 50 Lifetime Network movies by now?

Pretty sure that A Day in the Life of Marc Maron is my favorite on Hulu ever. http://t.co/ej58fe63

GOP, the best you guys will be able to come up with is Mitt Romney and he hasn't even won over your entire party. Face it, you're getting another term with President Obama. Let's at least make it productive and not all "let's get this birth control issue resolved and stop all gay people from doing anything." If women keep using birth control and keep exercising their own choices over their reproductive systems and gay people keep getting married, our country will be just fine.

Only line open at the grocery store right now is self check out. I've realized now there is no hope for human kind.

My power went out at 8:15 this morning and just came back. Still windy, lights still flickering. Probably going out again. Which is dumb.

Kids asked what St Patrick's Day is for. Untold them he was a slave that eventually converted pagans in Ireland to Catholics. Then later, he beat a bunch of snakes with a stick. So now we wear green or else you get pinched.

What's the word for when you wipe but the toilet paper tears and you end up with feces on your hand? Asking for my grossly specific friend.

I wish @DustinMartian offered to take me to a punk show when my grandma died. #EntertainmentWeeklyRockCBBUhHuhUhHuhYeahILikeIt

"Nice job mixin that spoonful of bacon fat into those ground turkey burgers, ya'll." - Paula Deen if she were in my kitchen right now.

Yeah, hit me up on my geo cities site? RT @daveanthony: You guys wanna start a blog?

When my dog barks @ 3am I assume it's saying "I want to commit suicide! But lack the capacity! PLEASE ASSIST ME!" and I want to help SO BAD.

How come my high school guidance counselor never mentioned Homeless Hospots?

You and my wife both. RT @NikkiGlaser: I was into Zac Efron wayyy before I confirmed it was legal.

If you are an actor, writer, or have endeavors, this is the work out video for you!: http://t.co/aVzHvAOA

Happy Alt + 210 day.