ChaseRoper

I hope "closet time" is mentioned! @parenting "Help! My kid is so bossy!" Here's what to do:

I love a nice a bindle and good can of beans. #noHobo

I'm making Zuppa Toscana for dinner. I guess this means I think I'm better than you.

Kids can be the most amazing things in your life but they can also steal and lie and totally ruin your afternoon.

Chili Palmer has to work for that other mob guy now. #NoMomo

My 4yo daughter is singing ♫Girls have a vagina / Boys have peanuts!♫ you know, just celebrating differences I guess.

That's on Hulu Plus right? RT @PFTompkins It's back on tomorrow night at 11pm. // RT @greatnessinc: is best week ever going to come back?

Today I got new teeth, my 12yo made the basketball team, and I learned that cranberries grow in the water. Crazy day!

I got my front teeth fixed yesterday. now I'm brushing them obsessively. Which really is like the normal amount you are supposed to brush.

Like pimping out your mom? RT @TamishaGuoan963 @ChaseRoper Thinking of starting an online business?

"@laughspincom Semen Lynch #masturbatingcomedians" // Did Brendan take over the acct again?

"Whitney Houston passed away. Did you read this? Did you hear about this?" - Jay Leno talking about Whitney Houston passing away.

I like to Stay at Home Dadcast, do you?: http://t.co/QIBzOfPW

Awake is a state of being that should be forced on no man or woman.

Tomorrow I talk to Greg Behrendt (Comedy Central, author of the book 'He's Just Not That Into You, actor, musician, and Dad) for The Stay at Home Dadcast. Questions you'd like me to ask him?

My newly repaired front teeth! I'm still bad at smiling though. http://t.co/JUwjqCeI

Photo: Always the only Town Car at the grocery store. (Taken with instagram) http://t.co/fsgRMVVR

a quick hello to all my newest Twitter spam-bot follower: 100101011101101010!

Congrats to @genegeorge for helping create one of the few babies that doesn't look like an ugly old man!

Staring @PFTompkins' avatar. Can't tell if it's his head or a chalice.

Signs you are bad at planning ahead for Valentines day. http://t.co/wahn5Bik

Move out for a couple days? RT @parenting: Germ alert! How to stay healthy when your kids are all sick: http://t.co/3GLnauo4

The Stay Home Dadcast by Chase Roper — Kickstarter http://t.co/nxzIp57M via @kickstarter Help me raise $550. Only 29 days left!

"I say - I say - I say - I say 'I say'a lot" - Foghorn Leghorn #IsayThatAlot

New study suggests polar ice caps melt more in the summer and less in the winter.