ChaseRoper

Happy EVIL DEAD Day, everybody! #ashwednesday

I have planned a movie marathon of horrific proportions to celebrate EVIL DEAD Day with my 4yo! #ashwednesday

and this is how you solve the problem. http://t.co/KDGiDnIH

I've been up for an hour, I'm tired and I hate everything.

Currently very angry over the manner in which I discovered that my children failed to lift the toilet seat.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secretions #JKRowlingAdultNovel

My followers all gave up @ replying me for lent. Apparently.

According to @klout, I'm now influential about Comedy, Jay Leno, and Whitney Houston. I give up. http://t.co/0dyqyYor

I provided some commentary on a video of a recent trip to the zoo. http://t.co/thAMCgL8

Ok, Zombie Movies/TV Shows, we get it. You exist.

I can't wait to explain Billy Crystal's outdated SNL references to my 12yo. #marvelous #TweetTheRoast

. @EliBraden "Hey, I never said any of that stuff on Wikiquotes." - Sir George Anonymous

I can't wait to explain Billy Crystal's outdated SNL references to my 12yo. #marvelous #tweetroast

I'm talking with John Ross Bowie later today (Big Bang Theory, Glee) topic suggestions?

Guys, I just fell in love my Robot Chicken spec script all over again. Pretentious? Sure. http://t.co/fj3bMg7g

Read my @Storify story: "Paul F. Tompkins vs. Cheesy Corporate America" http://t.co/1FFFRoZT #storify #youknowyouloveit

There is something very special about the jokes of a 7 year old. And by very special I mean terrible.

"hi, I'd like to sell this rare piece of history so I can go gamble." -- #pawnstars

don't follow/listen to @idmygd. Their twitter spam bits are blowing up my @ replies. Podcast Foul!

Don't mind me, I'm just making my avatar show up on every single topic over at the ol' @earwolf forum.

Can't announce whether I am/am not now a Nielsen household. That aside, Hollywood. DM me for a great opportunity to fund my kickstarter.

I bet I'd get up to 3K followers by using words like Free iPad, PS3, Gift Card, Dating, SEO, and make money from home.

I don't really care about SXSW.

Sad day. I absolutely LOVED watching The Monkees as a kid. Always walked around singing the theme. #RIPDavyJones

So, turns out my 12yo's cold is really Mono. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have made with him so much.