THAT was just silly. My guts hurt from laughing. True story.
On a serious note, you may need to have an Instrument Healer take a look at your guitar, Bob. A similar thing happened to me, and it turns out that my Fender Jazz Bass was inhabited by the malevolent spirit of Dewey Gumdrop - a previous owner of the instrument who was a late-comer to the chitlin circuit in Memphis. In life, he was not a happy man. In death, as you can imagine, he had even more emotional walls built up, and could NOT be reasoned with. Long story short, it took a good-sized Exorcising Crystal, duct-taped to the headstock of the bass, to drive Mr Gumdrop's spirit out.
I hope that you'll look into this, once your wounds heal.