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Henry

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Posts posted by Henry

  1. Posted

    Just in case anyone is curious to try that peanut butter and apple stuff, I found a good recipe on the internet. It's so easy you can even just make it at home with stuff you probably already have around the kitchen.

     

    http://www.food.com/recipe/apples-and-peanut-butter-apple-slices-218390?photo=304652

     

    Henry's kool kitchen tipâ„¢: use the accompanying pictures to help you tell if you're doing it right ;)

    • Like 8

  2. Posted

    12357918_557036857777431_1946686781_n.jpg

    I saw this decal on the rear windshield of an SUV in front of me today. Along with one that said "Cardio? Bitch, I lift!" and one that said "I lift because punching people is frowned upon." Needless to say I was more than a little intimidated by this guy since he clearly had a sense of humor superior to that of the average person. Those stickers are mad funny, bro!

     

    Sorry if this post offends any cardio heads out there, but cardio can get down and suck on these

    • Like 12

  3. Posted

    Hey guys, I just wrote a pretty good joke about false cognates. It's written in the style of stand-up comedy and it goes like this: I was at the DMV the other day (then in comically comforting tone) don't worry, I survived (end comical tone, but hold for laughter/applause) so I take a number and I'm waiting around like a jackass, when suddenly it dawns on me that "placenta" doesn't sound so gross if you say it in a Spanish accent and put the word "muy" in front of it. "Enjoying your evening?" "Si, it's been muy placenta."

     

    And then I just riff maybe two or three more examples of similar exchanges in which someone could reply with that funny observation worked in. And the last one has something to do with sex or something just to add some edginess.

    • Like 9

  4. Posted

     

    you shut up and give it a ten now.

     

    like what, they need to earn that extra 1?

     

    shouldnt you have to demonstrate why it isnt a full 10?

     

    (hint: you're almost mathematically guaranteed to be ehh wrong)

     

    I should explain myself. I've been studying up on being a critic professionally. From my observations you kind of have to hold back some measure of praise to let everyone know how much good stuff you know about. My unique spin on it will be to infuse suspense into my critiques. Am I going to add that point? Am I not? Who knows.........

    of course I am ;)

     

    • Like 3

  6. Posted

     

    Yeah, yeah. We have all heard the story/stories about your weird toe, but what's your review of them in general.

     

     

    P.S. The gestation thing is new though, I recommend keeping that in when you tell more strangers about your weird toe nail. It adds science book to the whole conversation and makes you more credible. Good choice.

     

    I didn't want to jump in and usurp rating duties, but I'll just preface this by saying that I am an amateur ratist, and my opinion should not be taken as an official rating. Toenails get 10.2/10 from me.

     

    If you read about science then you'll probably find that they still serve a purpose I think, plus I couldn't do that .2 extra joke if I didn't give them the highest score on my rating meter.

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

    For me personally, toenails are a sore subject. My pinky toe has two toenails growing out of it side by side. It looks weird and makes clipping that toenail a very precarious procedure. It also makes me think of how close I was to possibly being born with six toes. What I assume happened is my mom held me in for too long or something and I just started growing additional parts and stuff. If she waited any longer that nail would have grown to a full toe formation. Unfortunately, that's just how gestation works, and I think it's a flawed system. I'm living proof

     

    Oh, well. TGIF, am I right?

    • Like 4

  14. Posted

    My apologies, I've always been bad at that. I'm going to pray real hard to Satan tonight though, and beg that he please leave our celebrities alone. (especially a certain two Hollywood big shots)

     

    P.s. it'll bother me if I don't clarify that I'm not trying to make light of the untimely death of a well respected artist. It's just that people on YouTube be crazy, man!

    • Like 3

  16. Posted

    I've never been very good at smoking pot drugs so I gave up trying. I had a few pleasant experiences, but 90% of the time it just resulted in me being absolutely convinced that I needed to get to bed immediately or else a nonspecific terrible something would happen. Now my drug of choice is my morning coffee, and I only get high on life and different combinations of OTC meds, and sometimes I'll get all silly and hopped up on sugar and candy and Jolt cola 84.gif

    • Like 8

  17. Posted

    In all seriousness, I hope that if Mike Lawrence looks at the the forums like he suggested he might, he doesn't take any snarkiness too seriously. He handled a situation that he wasn't familiar with pretty well. Even as a fan of the show, I would be a total boom goes the dynamite situation if I were in his place. At least he didn't go all Pauly Shore and call Sean a homo or anything

    • Like 14

  18. Posted

    Mike's beard reminded me of a fun thing I invented that sadly never caught on. It's really cool and anyone can do it as long as they have two hands. You take your pinky, ring, and middle fingers and interlace them so that the tip of each finger is nestled in the (for lack of a better term) crotch area between the fingers on the opposite hand. Then put the tips of your index fingers together and stick your thumbs straight up. Then you put it on your face and it's a hand beard with index finger moustache and thumb sideburns. Try it yourself when you get home, and think of all the friends you'll make when you show them your cool new trick!

    • Like 10

  20. Posted

    I just want to say that I wasn't at all scared by the frankingstein joke, I was kind of not fully on board with it either though. Doesn't frankingsteins have bolts in their necks? I guess we can assume they are being received by nuts buried somewhere under the skin, but that just opens the door to all kinds of hypothetical stuff in there that might not be true. Nice try, Mike's mom

    • Like 8

  23. Posted

    I just recently finished watching all 3 seasons of "Strangers With Candy". I remember when it originally aired I didn't really get into it. I think Jerri was just too depressing as a main character for me. I loved it this time around though. Maria was also great as the seemingly level headed voice of reason who was shamelessly dating one of her teachers

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