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Anchor Management

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Posts posted by Anchor Management

  1. Posted

    So yesterday I finally got my copy of "My Year of Flops", because my love for bad movies runs deep you guys and I was flipping through it to see what was covered. While there were many movies in there that would qualify, there was one movie so bad and insane my brain tried to block out the memory of it: It's All About Love (2003), a forgotten crapsterpiece. It has Joaquin Phoenix and Claire Danes (who reportedly cried when she saw the final result) in crazy Polish accents, floating people who have to be tethered to Earth, clones, people dropping dead, the world is freezing over, it is insane. I watched both The Last Airbender and Old Dogs and those feel like straightforward stories compared to this hot mess. Wikipedia does not have a plot synopsis, because it is impossible to pu into words. The most bizarre part is how a movie this far out is so boring. Please review this movie.

  2. Posted

    Chev Chelios wakes up to find out his brain has been removed by the Japanse Yakuza and replaced by a gorilla brain. This gives him superhuman strength and agility, but he has to fling feces every few minutes to keep his brain from shutting down and going feral. Jason Statham stars in Crank 3: Goin' Ape-Shit.

  3. Posted

    Some ideas:

    Mike Litoris
    Hans Ziob
    The Abdominable Showman
    Guru Makindbaldmancrai
    Doctor Unnecessarsitarcover
    Prof. Terriblemisuseofcomedians

    Seriously though, how did all those guys get sucked into that movie? Jim Gaffigan, John Oliver, Stephen Colbert, Daniel Tosh and even friend of the show Rob Huebel are all on board this shipwreck. I mean, a like a dick joke every once in while, but every two seconds....

  4. Posted

    To celebrate the fact that How Did This Get Made finally has its own shirt featuring Sir Nicolas Cage, there should be a new Nic Cage entry and there is no Nic cage movie more ridiculous than The Wicker Man. Not only does the story make no sense whatsoever -he's a highway patrol man who investigates a mysterious village? Because his daughter is dead or not?- there are scenes in it that make Old Dogs pale by comparison. How about the helmet of bees? Cage in a bear suit? The roundhouse kick he gives to a woman? Or his crazy hair in general? Plus he has numerous great freak-out moments throughout the movie. I mean, an actual line of dialogue is "Killing me won't bring back your fucking honey". It is just that insane.

    You're welcome.

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