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Lando

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Posts posted by Lando

  5. Posted

    I think right after coming down from watching the 1st Hellraiser I thought I would add all of the hellraiser movies to my Netflix queue. With a lot of free time I have been going through and trying to purge some of my bad movies. I will eventually get to Hellseeker and Bloodline, but right now I am trying to plow through Hell on Earth.

  6. Posted

    I just watched this (clearly I am on a Christopher Lambert kick with this and Highlander 3) and all I have to say is What.the.fuck?!?! This is perfect HDTGM fodder (more Christopher Lambert!)

    • I got the sense that the filmmakers seemed to think that there was something of a story, but it seemed to have nothing to do with Beowulf outside of just borrowing names.
    • I'm really not sure what is going on with the outer castle seige.
    • Aesthetically this movie is like 90% medieval, 10% futuristic. If Steampunk has a relative that is less Victorian and more medieval, this film is the embodiment of it. Some of the weapons look ridiculously impractical (specifically the giant pizza cutters)
    • This seems like a mish mash of other movies. It's part Predator, part Army of Darkness, part In The Name of the King and part Rhona Mitra's cleavage
    • The best thing about the movie by far is the 90s industrial/electronic soundtrack
    • The final fight scene has some pretty bad CGI, it looks like something from the Lawnmower Man.

  9. Posted

    This is a bad bad movie but not in enjoyable way, it is irritating to watch so it doesnt have the same joy as say, Maximum Overdrive. Clearly no one involved gave a fuck about it.

     

    It also has maybe the first flashback of a flashback within a flashback in movie history.

     

    YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON COBRETTI!!!

    • Like 1

  10. Posted

    People act like every movie Nic Cage has ever made is campy comedy gold, but while I think that Cage has made a few fun bad and campy movies, he's also made a few really really good movies (I LOVE Adaptation for example). But I think John Travolta deserves the attention more than Nic Cage.

    • Like 5

  11. Posted

    I think they tried to explain it with the "frozen in a cave for 500 years" thing. It would be like if they did another Lord of the Rings movie and explained it by saying "oops, there were actually 2 rings of Sauron, but the 2nd ring fell behind Sauron's dresser and he forgot all about it for 500 years." It really pretty much just ignores everything about there only needing to be one final Immortal in the 1st.

    • Like 1

  13. Posted

    Listening to the C&O from this week gave me an insight about Hackers that I wish I had a week ago:

    If Phreek ends up being the only character from the group that goes to jail, and later is forced to become Sally Can't Dance to survive in prison, and Agent Gill transfers to Baltimore to reinvent himself as Bunk, does that mean that Con Air and The Wire take place in the same universe?

    • Like 3

  14. Posted

    I am watching Highlander 3 now. I feel like each one essentially ignores about 50% of the rules and mythology explicitly set forth in the previous films and inserts a bunch of new stuff. Highlander 3 feels like they're trying to get back to the spirit of the first one (and the out of place bad comedic stuff is missing, which is for the better), but it's still garbage. The first one they set out the rules that these immortals do battle and decapitate each other until there is only one, and then that happens and they have to invent new reasons to violate that rule. Really, the first one is maybe a bit of Thank God This Got Made, but the 2nd and 3rd are pure How Did This Get Made.

     

    Edit: couple of stray thoughts:

    This movie is centered around the hero--an immortal that MUST kill all other immortals eventually--refusing to kill his mentor to absorb his powers, but then running to get the fuck out of the cave when the mentor knows that the villain is coming to kill him (and thus take his powers)

    Van Peebles (who I must say is easily the best part of the movie and despite sounding like a bad Harvey Firestein impression is a pretty menacing villain) is trapped in a cave for 500 is years in Japan and when he comes out he is somehow totally aware of Modern English and technology? Even to the point of knowing how to drive a car like a stuntman? This movie only makes slightly more sense than the 2nd.

  18. Posted

    From what I remember this movie sets it up so that there's something more mystical about the number 23 than other numbers and it acts like your mind is going to be BLOWN when they get around to telling you why it's so mystical and then is like "yeah, I got nothin..." So anticlimactic.

  19. Posted

    Like so many others who grew up nerdy in the 90s this movie set me into nostalgia mode as well. I would have been 15 when this came out, but probably wouldn't have seen it until I was 16 or so, but it made me want to be an elite hacker. I was never a hacker, maybe a script kiddie at best. I remember when you had to get onto the internet via either Compuserve, Prodigy or AOL and which one you picked was dependent on which one had a local number to dial into and I remember having to be mindful of your hours or you would get overages (and I remember getting in trouble for going over). I remember finding a "hacking" page that had a secret AOL chat room (I think it was just 31337 or 1337, it was really not that hard to figure out) and just lurking, it was mostly just a script kiddie social hangout chat room. I also remember finding an enhanced AIM chat program that would let you do more things including flooding someone with chat requests to boot people before they would know what was going on.

     

     

    Just waxing nostalgically.

    • Like 4

  22. Posted

    Part 3: World at War

    - Wow, significant budget upgrade here! They went from 4:3 SD to 16:9 HD. Even the Cloud 10 logo got an upgrade. I wonder if they got a big cash infusion from parts 1&2 or if the technology got cheaper.

    - Whoa, Louis Gossett jr. I can't decide if that's a big get on the filmmaker's part or if it's that he is that desperate for work (although I am leaning towards the latter)

    - Whatever money was spend on this movie was not spent on CGI that's for sure.

    - I have to be honest, I mostly tuned out about 20 minutes into this movie. Although I did notice that I believe I had the same cell phone as Kirk Cameron in this around 2005. I think I might have it in my basement somewhere.

     

    All in all, I think this would be a poor series of movies to do, at worst this felt like "Chick Tracts: The Movie" and at best they are mostly pretty boring. I would really only suggest watching these movies if you were an Evangelical Christian who believed in revelations or you have a morbid curiosity with said people. Honestly, I think this movie reveals a lot about what Kirk Cameron, and at least some people that share his beliefs think.

  23. Posted

    1995 was truly a glorious time for cyber-thrillers that didn't quite have the right idea, with that, "Hackers", and "The Net" making up the Triple Crown of ineptness.

     

    Even though not about hackers and the internet, I think that Lawnmower Man belongs on that list too.

    • Like 2
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