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Lando

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Posts posted by Lando

  4. Posted

    I kind of categorize this movie with Boondock Saints*, in that they are both action movies released around the same time that, despite little to no theatrical release, gained a huge cult following in high school and college-aged males. A remarkable accomplishment, seeing as both are remarkably stupid (or maybe that's part of their appeal?). Many-a college dorm conversation was had pertaining to why these films should not be viewed as good. At least Equilibrium has the decency to have some cool choreography and an attempt at some stylistic flourishes, while Boondock Saints has neither... and has the added bonus of being morally repugnant.

     

    *The Boondock Saints is clearly fodder for HDTGM itself. If anyone needs evidence of this, the bizarre documentary on its writer/director Troy Duffy, entitled Overnight, is a chronicle of Hollywood douchery to befuddle anyone. It's not great filmmaking, but it does show Duffy to be an astonishing asshole.

     

    I don't think it's fair to say Equilibrium is dumb in the same vein as Boondock Saints because it ripped off Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451. It's more fair to say that anything it brings to the table is unoriginal.

  5. Posted

    This always felt too cheesy for a parody movie to me, and came from a time with way too many stupid 'movie' movies and people forgot how to make them. I much prefer "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka", but it's been a bit since I've seen either.

     

    Have you ever seen a real blaxploitation movie? They are cheesy as hell. How can you have a parody of a cheesy genre and not have it be cheesy?

  11. Posted

    Yes, one of the biggest critical and box office flops of 2013. RIPD has a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes, which makes it the lowest-rated film on the website in both the careers of Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds.

     

    I am predicting that this will be true until Seventh Son comes out. This movie got shuffled from Sept 2013 to Feb 2014 to Feb 2015. It's stuck in dump month limbo, that says something.

  12. Posted

    When I first saw it, I kind of wondered where all the money went, because it didn't seem to be onscreen. Everything looked beat up and shitty, which I know was the point, but it sure didn't LOOK like the most expensive movie ever at that point. I also recall it not being all that terrible, or too terribly interesting.

     

    I recall seeing an episode of Entertainment Tonight when the movie was just about to come out. If I recall correctly, they said that a huge part of the budget was the scene where he dives to the bottom of the ocean. They said that they had to shoot a ridiculous number of takes of that scene because even the tiniest bubble coming from Costner's nose or mouth would make it impossible to edit out with the green screen.

  15. Posted

    I remember seeing a clip of this in the Poison "Behind the Music" episode as part of the "But now he's BACK, making terrible shit that's going to be ignored" wrap-up segment.

     

    I remember that, plus didn't he also say that he had gotten into bodybuilding? All of it made him seem really douchy, but from all accounts he is a super nice guy.

  18. Posted

    So I'm maybe a few minutes into this movie and I've discovered a few things you missed. Like one of the first thing Jayden says in his voice over is that they left earth 1000 years ago. So that would explain why earth had changed so much.

     

    Evolution generally doesn't work that fast to produce such drastically different species. Human beings, for example, took millions of years to go from apes to homo sapiens.

     

    Secondly, it's not an English accent. I swear to bajeebus I think they all sound like southern gentlemen... Kind of like a subdued Foghorn Leghorn... Except for the rangers in the cargo hold with the alien... They sound like Bono doing a bad southern accent.

     

    It was occasionally the southern genteel "a" with an "r" pronounced as "w" (like some lisps). My problem with this was oddly the opposite of the other problem with evolution, that the accents weren't evolved enough. Language, unlike genetics evolves pretty quickly, look at how different Shakespeare looks from modern English. They should have either gone waaaaay over the top with the evolution of language (ala Cloud Atlas) or kept it as it is now.

  19. Posted

    I watched this last night and tried to view it with an open mind. Whenever I watch a movie that they do, I recognize that there's a possibility that they hype up some of the bad elements for the purpose of comedy but wow was this bad. This movie felt like it was put together by a 14yr old trying to think of things that would be "cool" without regard as to whether or not they are part of a coherent story. I genuinely can't believe that this movie was written by adults!

  20. Posted

    Holy shit Vince Gilligan was involved in writing this, but left it to do Breaking Bad! I wonder what it would have been like had he been with it to the end, it probably would have had Berg's touch on it, but would have been more coherent.

  21. Posted

    I watched this movie last week and I can't help but think it would be a good movie for HDTGM. At first glance it may seem like a forgettable action flick, but after watching it I think it would be a good one for them to watch for several reasons.

    First off this film is never quite sure what it wants to be, at different times it's a light action comedy, a dark crime drama and a quasi-blaxploitation film, but never does any of them well.

    In the comedy moments the jokes aren't funny and are often homophobic jabs at one particular character who the writers seemed to dislike. Throughout the whole movie one of the brothers, Jack, who is the sensitive rock 'n' roll character is mercilessly taunted (mostly by Wahlberg) and called gay and rarely does anything other than sigh and pout at the jokes. At one point it is established that he isn't gay because he says "Jack doesn't like dick and balls, Jack likes boobs," but the taunting is so merciless that I had to go look online to figure out if he was supposed to be gay or not. In fact, even as the character bleeds out from a gunshot Wahlberg calls him homophobic slurs! This guy goes to his grave being called gay.

    The dark crime element undermines the likeability of the characters. Many times while trying to investigate who killed their adopted mother, the four brothers don't hesitate to brutally torture people in order to extract information. The end result is feeling more sympathy for the person who was injured than the brothers who are trying to figure it all out.

    The blaxploitation is particularly odd. Given that 5 years prior to Four Brothers John Singleton remade Shaft, I gather that he loved blaxploitation films of the 70s (Four Brothers is a much better movie than Shaft, which I thought was pretty bad). But it seems like he wanted to remove the "-xploitation" from the formula and turn it into a positive genre for African Americans. However, the end result ends up being a lot like what "Christian Rock" is to "Rock."

    That's only the confused state of the movie, there is a lot for them to pick apart and they've already done one Singleton movie (Abduction), so I think this one would make a good followup.

  22. Posted

    I haven't seen 6 yet, but I picked up on 5 that it was an Oceans 11 ripoff (which was actually a good idea since it gave the movie something of a plot) so I was trying to figure out what other movies they should rip off. For F&F 7 I kind of hope it's Seven Samurai/Magnificent Seven. In it Diesel, Walker and the rest of the family find themselves in a small town in Brazil that is overrun by car thieves and the villagers beg Diesel and company to help drive away the thieves.

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