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Lando

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Posts posted by Lando


  1. Wow. I'm not interested in bickering or going through the movie scene by scene (Was really hoping Scheer & co. would handle that), but I'm genuinely surprised to see so many people circling the wagons around such an objectively crummy movie. I was hoping to hear at least one other dissenting opinion on this darling of a hit, but so it goes I guess.

     

    Objectively crummy? Let's see this movie:

    - Won the AFI Award for Best Movie of 2012

    - Has an 8.0 on IMDB

    - 92% positive on Rotten Tomatoes with 88% of users liking it

    - Nominated for Best Picture and 7 other Academy Awards

    Yup, sounds like an "objectively crummy" movie to me.

     

     

    For the record, I haven't even seen it, it doesn't sound like a movie I would love, but this is a very odd suggestion for this podcast.


  2. With that being said, it still is the craziest thing in the movie. Why, for starters, does the Body Guard and not Michael Bolton look-a-like rape her? Why are they still at the gala? When Molly (the friend) stumbles out bloodied and collapses, does no one check where she came from? Where did Michael Bolton look-a-like go? And Where are the police? The doctors said she suffered assault to her face and vaginal tearing, is that NOT ENOUGH to WARRANT AN INVESTIGATION?! Why do they think they can get away with it? Do they honestly think Molly, probably the most moral person in the movie, WON'T TALK?!?!

     

    Don't you know? Big smooth jazz has a tight grip on Vegas.

    • Like 1

  3. someone made a nice imdb list that is a good reference...

     

    http://www.imdb.com/list/46NeYag8T9s/

     

    That's me. I love this podcast, so that's my way of trying to add something of value to it.

     

    One thing I find interesting is how many times there are repeat actors, but not repeat directors. Joel Joel Schumacher is on there twice for Tresspass and Batman & Robin, and you could say that Bill Condon is on there 2x, but it's for two movies in the same series, but almost every other director is on there only once. There are plenty of directors who could be on there multiple times (M. Night Shyamalan and Roland Emmerech come to mind), and with time probably will.


  4. My first time on this site. My friend brought me to this awesome show. I guess my bad movie recommendations would be Tuff Turf or The Black Dahlia. I would probably go for Tuff Turf only because I couldn't wrap my head around how they got The Jim Carroll Band in this movie among other problems.

     

    As stated in Wikipedia "The film begins at night with Morgan exploring the streets of his new neighborhood on his bicycle. The intro sequence features the song "Love Hates" programmed by Jonathan Elias and featuring vocals by Marianne Faithfull. It's a great electronic track with a dark edge, similar in vein to early Ministry (All Day, Halloween) and sets the scene perfectly for the rest of the film; with small sequences of this song occurring throughout the movie.

     

    The song sounds nothing like Ministry. At all.

     

    Have you ever heard their debut "With Sympathy?" That sounds nothing like Ministry and I wonder if that's what they were going after.

     

    Second pick, The Black Dahlia for so many reasons I cannot get into. It's just a terrible film. Everything went wrong with this movie. Best two quotes "She looks like that dead girl!" which the audience bursted out laughing and "Fire and ice." Why can't Mia Kirshner find a chair to sit on? Why is the pacing so horrible? No one can act in this film film it's like they were reading cue cards because they went on an 8 day drinking bender before the first scene. It's awful.

     

    I saw this movie on a date and remember people walking out of the theater. Since then I have come to realize that Josh Harntett staring in a movie is a sign that I will not enjoy it (Blackhawk Down being the only exception)


  5. So is it just terrible, or would it make good HDTGM material? I added it to my queue when I saw it as well, from what I saw it's a remake of a movie that was poorly received to begin with.


  6. Ok I have to say this: I was opposed to watching this movie from the start, as Uwe Boll is putrid. His movies aren't fun bad, they're just bad. I got 15 mins into this and had to bail. BUT Don't you DARE bring Blind Guardian into this. I know that technically Boll brought them into it by using their song in the end credits, but that is by far the most enjoyable aspect of anything Uwe Boll has ever been associated with. I'm certain that the song has nothing to do with the movie. Skalds and Shadows was recorded and released on their 2006 album (recorded in Sept of 2005) A Twist in the Myth. This shithole movie came out in 2007. I absolve it of its connection to this movie, and I hope Blind Guardian at least made some decent money off of the royalties. Long Live Dragon-Slaying Epic Metal.

     

    Blind Guardian is the kind of music that Andre Nowzick would have listened to in high school and college.

     

    And I say that as someone who owns several BG albums and has seen them live.


  7. I cant believe youde start with this Boll movie In The name of the King is a Goddamn masterpiece in comparison to Bloodrayne and house of the dead which looks like it was shot in someones backyard from 30 feet away.

     

    The weird thing about Bolls career to me is he briefly started making good movies for a little while. after he made some bad but almost good movies like postal and stoic he made Rampage which is a genuinely great movie. Then he made a Darfur movie which was pretty good too.

     

    But then he decided to make a movie about Auschwitz and it was really bad. Not funny bad just offensive and lousy bad. He wanted to do a holocaust horror movie which might have worked if he put a lot of effort into it but he just got lazy and cheap so theres just like 20 minutes in the middle of cheaply shot holocaust recreation and its sandwiched between insulting interviews of German kids not knowing shit about the holocaust and footage of hitler smiling at kids?! Boll himself plays a Nazi in it and defended his decision by saying it wasnt like he played hitler. But then in his next movie HE DID PLAY HITLER.

    Anywhoo so Yeah after Darfur he went back to sucking. Bloodrayne 3 and Blubberella are unwatchable Garbage. Blubberella is about a fat woman fighting nazis it feels like watching a blooper reel with zero editing. Anyway so it's weird that he managed to write and direct a great movie in Rampage and a few good movies but everything else hes done is such insane crap.

     

    House of the dead Id suggest if youre gonna do another of his movies because its soo crazy awful. most of the movie is edited in such a way its like looking at a strobe-light and no continuity like a guy will be stuck in a door but then he gets free but then hes stuck again in the next shot and when they shoot zombies they cut to video game footage like it was place holder footage that they never replaced.

     

    im rambling

     

    When I saw Postal, it felt like the work of a bad message board troll. Nothing funny, nothing credible and obviously attempting to be offensive.


  8. I tend to look at Cage as an instrument like the bagpipes. If used by someone who doesn't know what they're doing you get a horrible mess, but if used by someone who knows what they're doing you can get something cool. It all depends on how the director harnesses his "Cage"-ness.

    • Like 2

  9. Honestly I don't know if this is HDTGM-worthy yet, but the description is pretty amazing:

     

    Yang travels to Chen Village to learn a powerful form of Tai Chi. Though villagers are forbidden from teaching outsiders, Yang becomes their best hope for survival when a man arrives with a plan to build a railroad through the village.


  10.  

    The thing is, Sleepaway Camp actually lays a foundation for that ending. Yes, the movie is ridiculous but they clearly had that ending in mind all along. Same with Sixth Sense or Usual Suspects, etc. High Tension, on the other hand, gives the audience absolutely no opportunity to suss out this ending, as it goes against every single thing you see in the movie up until that point. That's why it bugged me. It was a cheat.

     

    I don't think that not giving the audience a hint of the twist is necessarily a bad thing in this case. I think that in High Tension, the intent was to give you a feel of what the main character experienced, one of the elements being confusion, and there would be no way to give the viewer confusion and tell them what's going on at the same time. I think that you could say the same about some of David Lynch's works like Mulholland Drive, which simply wouldn't work the same if the viewer hadn't experienced some confusion at some point throughout the movie.


  11.  

    ***SPOILERS****

     

    You don't need to see Thr3e, even if just for the twist, the movie is a shitty adaptation of a religious mystery book. It all involves a guy being tracked by this supposed serial killer who wants him to atone for his sins and would punish him, his crazy aunt, and his childhood friend. After a whole lot of stupid plot points and misdirects, you find out that not only is the serial killer a figment of the main character's imagination who was made as a copycat of the real killer, but the childhood friend was also in the main character's imagination. It was really convoluted though it was surprising to see that the friend wasn't real either.

     

    I watch a lot of terrible movies that I don't need to see.

     

    Sadly, this sounds like it rips off Donald Kauffman's idea a lot less than would be entertaining. The idea of a guy being held hostage and working in the police station would be amusing to see put out non-ironically.

     

    And for the record, I LOVE Adaptation, I'd probably put it in my top 10 movies ever.

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