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mwn

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Posts posted by mwn

  3. Posted

    turns out I loved this episode so much I began feeling invincible and no longer bound to the laws of mortals, like making sure you cook ground beef all the way through. the last 12 hours have been a roller coaster of barfies and poopies, and yet, in the end, I feel like it was worth it, because I got to think about my funny boys some more instead of sleeping. what an honor

    • Like 22

  14. Posted

    One time when I was a young child I went to a Counting Crows show and the hypnotic "na na na"s at the end of "A Long December" sent me into a violent fugue state. Long story short I'm pretty sure I wound up giving some weenie a knuckle sandwich B)

     

     

    just kidding I want to know every detail of this story steve please steve

    • Like 13

  16. Posted

    This guys name is really close to being Devil Field. Can you imagine anything more terrifying than a field of Devils?

     

    Well now that you mention it, I can. I spend a lot of my waking time imagining things and some of my sleep time too. I consider myself an expert on being terrified, spooked, startled, and petrified, and have developed a scale to measure how ghastly the world is.

    here's an abridged table of some bad shit, ranked by their Scareville Units (this is a pun on Scoville units, the measurement of spiciness. I'm ashamed for both of us that I have to explain this to you.)

     

    0 - a big bowl of vanilla ice cream: perfectly unscary. a tasty treat!

    1.5 - a big bowl of chocolate ice cream: the only scary thing is how much I like it!

    5 - bowl of ice cream set near the table edge: please don't knock it over..... be careful......

    10-1000 - critters (various):

    • big critters: not scary. mostly cute and more afraid of you than you are of them! easy to avoid.
    • medium critters: not very scary. this category includes dogs, the anti-horror
    • invisible critters: a little scary. you get the sneezes from these tiny guys
    • small critters: a bad time! these are bugs. they can really sneak up on you and live in your shirt for a year
    • galactic critters: the scariest critter. this category includes planets and space clouds, which I think are probably alive and definitely mean

    2500-5000 - night-time: this is when I go to bed :-) sometimes monsters and crime happen during this period :-/

     

    10000 - responsibility: am I right guys??? no really, am I.... I sure hope I am....

    12000 - staring, unblinking children: this is a horror movie classic for a reason, folks! these kids are up to no good

    12001 - staring, unblinking adults: in my experience this is just normal

    20000 - Devil Field: incredibly bad and shocking. just a dire situation all around.

    20500 - Demon Meadow: exactly the same, but somehow worse

    20569 - Demon Wayans: yikes! haha, this one is actually only a joke. I hope you liked it

    33333 - crow world

    40000 - talking to a woman: truly bone-chilling. just thinking about it is making me sweat in all the wrong places

    50000 - dreaming that you're back in college, even though you graduated years ago, and you forgot to study for the big test, , and then waking up and you're in college and your postgrad life was a dream and the test starts in 5 minutes!!!!!!!!!

    60000 - crowzone: the upgraded version of crow world science hasn't found out about yet

    75000 - the human condition, if you think about it...: it takes a real twisted mind to think about life in this way, and a lot of people don't give the society they live in a second thought... but we're all trapped in a cage, in a way, by each other, and all for what... to make the banks have more money?? NO THANKS

    1000000 - making a stupid list for a forum and it turns out not very funny and no one likes it: the worst fate imaginable

    • Like 25

  18. Posted

    if this week's episode is delayed and we have to live in this thread for another week... well, that's just about the worst thing I can imagine.

    and I've imagined lots of bad things. like being turned into a can of pringles by a bad wizard and eaten by sloppy children

    or slipping on ice and falling on my butt right in front of a snowplow that scoots me out into the sea

    or losing the trail in the middle of a big forest (daytime) and I'm eaten apart by bugswarm

    or flying in an airplane and finding out I'm on the wrong plane and this is the one they fly into a volcano once a year for good luck

    or accidentally touching a baby bird on the way to the deli and now you have to be the bird's mommy even though you've always known in your heart that you don't have what it takes to be a parent

    or having to be sober in a social situation

    or operating a big steam engine and a pipe blasts your noggin off with steam and all your coworkers call you Steamhead and it's impossible to quit because the health insurance is so good

    or looking at a mirror and your reflection turns around and leaves to be in a cooler person's mirror

    or you're eating a donut and you find a wedding ring inside, but not in the middle where it'd be ideal because the donut hole is too big, and you have to cancel the wedding because you just can't let it go

     

    I could go on but I'm getting too chilled thinking about making this awful thread any longer

    • Like 12
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