Skeevins

Someone needs to unionize these cakes.

This episode made me think of "Legends of Doo Wop," a comedic short on Funny or Die. I think you'd like it, Jake. LEGENDS OF DOO-WOP - watch more funny videos

Marissa, Scott's opening was the very definition of "fortuitous." I'm not angry, I'm just very, very disappointed. In your educator, Miss Listler.

Jay Kay Rowlings, ladies!

Glomer! I remember he was some kind of a hairy leprechaun that hung out with cartoon Punky Brewster.

I feel like that has to be on a number of baby apparel items already. Mildred probably shops at Baby Gap anyway. Somebody's gotta buy all those "sexy baby" clothes without feeling like a horrible person. Other than horrible people, I mean.

OK. And rate them with the most trashcans? Because some of my recommendations are enjoyable movies that are completely ridiculous. I don't think they're necessarily bad.

There's definitely no excuse for anybody calling you that. If you don't like episodes with a lot of people cracking up, Andy Daley is very good at maintaining character, and I would recommend any episode with him in it.

help me.

OK. 1. Michael J. Fox is such a great actor, he actually made me pissed off at the kid who was playing with matches. 2. A CREATURE ATE RALPH? WHO THE HELL IS RALPH, AND WHY WAS HE EATEN? WHAT IS THIS CREATURE? WHAT DOES IT WANT? WHY IS TIME BEING WASTED WITH TALK OF MATCHES? These questions are never answered. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwP_IT1jV1Q

Hasselhoff talks about friends being dicks to you on One to Grow On. Mr. T talks about how important it is to start with small weights before moving onto large weights on One to Grow On:

What you guys really need are ballads that are written by Patton Oswalt, but performed by Leonard Nimoy.

So does giving it more garbage cans increase its chances of being reviewed, or is that just an indication of how unenjoyable it is?

Prayer Bear! Looks like it was edited by Everything is Terrible or something. This one is most definitely not edited. Only watched 2 minutes of this. My God. Like a descent into madness.

#JuneBug for movies that would bug June with their misogynistic undertones. But I guess we already have #MichaelBay and #UweBoll, so...

When Chelsea described Kulap's murder, I pictured Scott looking upon her corpse with a very subdued "My wiiiiiife." It was pretty sad. Please don't die, Kulap.

I miss the little guy.

Bake some cookies and leave them cooling by the window sill Relish in the thought of Fryvault coming to visit Isotoner gloves make great presents for guests who do not want to leave fingerprints. Nonchalantly text Fryvault to inform him that you have cookies and isotoner gloves at the CBB studios. Gird your loins for hilarity. Build bridges to communication Arrange several emergency exits, just in case. Call D/S ALW over as well Kardashians on at 9?! No. Stay focused. Forget about the Kardashians. You have Tivo. Relax. You can always watch it later. Vampires will never be hungry so long as Fryvault is around. Arm yourself with Garlic. Urban Outfitters have several T-shirts you can wear that will speak to Fryvault's inner city sensibilities. Listen for the doorbell. Take the time to appreciate these little moments.

Brian, you just unleashed a whole new breed of fanartist with your confession to Mildred.

ziiiiiing!

Mildred's thumbs-up is actually a far more potent curse than anything Blackee Green can muster.

Scott's stepfather Bob Ducca and Wompler's stepfather Seth. Or, as I call them, The Capital Steps!

Bring back Fryvault!

Fear the Wompa.

The name "Glennishmoore" sounds like a Glen Beck commune established to wait out the blackpocalypse with stockpiles of cookie dough ice cream and gold. I prefer the "Glinnishmore" spelling.